TOO MUCH INFORMATION !!!!!

(sigh)

You know, there are just some times when folks give you too much information about themselves, their lives, their families, their ailments. Over the years I've visited family and friends who were living out their lives in nursing homes or assisted living facilities; and for some reason, bless their hearts, they believe that old age gives them the freedom to mention everything bad, insulting, humiliating, embarrassing that has ever happened to them or those near them. The following quotes are FOR REAL -- no one could make this stuff up. I have had these things said to me, sometimes more than once, since their memories are often not up to snuff. And I INSIST that it is just TMI!!!!!

From a 90-something fellow in a nursing home: "I had me a '32 Cadillac and I could slip Mr. Peepers right up the gals' dresses in that thing!"

From the same fellow on another day: "My roommate can't wipe himself, so the nurse told him he couldn't poop until SHE was ready!"

From a feisty old bird in nursing care: "I had an awful cold and ran out of tissues. They didn't bring me any more so I had to blow my nose in the sheet!"

From an 80-something: "I loved my husband, but he couldn't perform worth a damn. You know how that IS, Missy?"

And another: "We had to use corn cobs in the outhouse to take care of business. We ate a helluva lot of corn to keep up supplies!"

These things have all been said to me over the years, but the one that absolutely doubled me over in laughter was:

From a sweet old lady in nursing care: "Those diapers they put on you aren't worth nothin.' If you mess'em too much they fall down to your knees when you stand up!"

TMI!!!!! TMI!!!!!!

(sigh)