PETS AND SANTA

(sigh)

I don't know what it is about the holiday season, but there seem to be more lunatics out there than usual.

The local paper here the other day had an ad for a photo opportunity for your PETS to be captured on film with Santa! Next thing you know, they'll be having a "Breakfast with Santa" for the pets as well. (Hear me heaving?)

I don't believe I need to say more.

(sigh)

SAN FRANCISCO VS. PORTLAND

(sigh)

I swear, San Francisco (as usual) has one-upped just about every U.S. city and town on every issue the least bit "fringe," but this one astounds me. Remember recently when I posted about Portland's Women's and Transgender Repair Shop? Well, SF has gone them one better. That crazy-ass city is now planning to issue residents ID cards with no gender ascribed because it's "confusing to their transgender residents."

OMG.

I'm telling you, the governing body out there is nuts; and much the same can be said for much of the SF community since they're electing these fools.

(the biggest of sighs)

RIBBONS, RIBBONS EVERYWHERE (AND NOT HOLIDAY ONES!)

(sigh)

I think we've gone a little bonkers with these so-called "awareness" ribbons. They're EVERYWHERE -- cars, pins, backpacks, return address labels, ad infinitum. The first I recall seeing these things was years ago when yellow ribbons tied around trees represented support for our troops and support of hostages held in Iran. The yellow ribbon actually has a Biblical reference which we have watered down to our own liking. Since the yellow ribbons of the 80s, ribbons have appeared in a multitude of colors supporting the cause du jour. Most represent awareness for significant diseases, but a few stretch the imagination.

See if you know what ribbons of these colors supposedly signify:

Red/white/blue - patriotism

Pale yellow - spina biffida

Red - HIV; substance abuse prevention

Pink - breast cancer prevention; birth parents/adoption

White - terrorism victims; peace; right to life

Jigsaw of colors - autism

Lavender - general cancer awareness

Green - organ/tissue donation; missing children; the environment

Dark blue - child abuse/domestic violence prevention; free speech; arthritis; water safety

(WATER SAFETY????????????????!!!!!!!!!!)

Pastel pink and blue - SIDS

We're gonna run out of colors.

(sigh)

TURKEY DAY

(sigh)


whip up the spuds,
stuff the bird.
not a word of thanks
was ever heard.
bake mounds of stuffing,
cook the peas,
toss the greens,
sweeten teas.
"It’s yummy,"
I kept waiting to hear
but no,
those words missed
both my ears.
glaze the yams,
frost the cake,
boil the ham,
and relish make.
bake the squash,
pickle beets
devil eggs,
(my poor feet.)
roll out the crusts,
and bake the pies.
"I’ll help," I heard
to my surprise.
you thought, of course,
that I would say
I really hate this turkey day.
but no.
it’s just that we’re ungrateful
for all those piled-high, heaping platesful.
we’ve lost the meaning of this day.
food’s not it…
we’ve lost our way.

(sigh)

OVER 55

(sigh)

There is a significant need for a real line of "Over 55" products. I don't mean the usual Fix-o-Dent, Metamucil, Depends stuff. I mean stuff that would facilitate daily life other than cleansing our colons or enrolling us in Medicare Part D.

Things like: foods that print the directions in a font larger than 2; menus that are pared down to a page rather than a small book (we need a nap after the second page); places to eat that are senior-friendly (translation: no one younger than 18 in order to eliminate the staccato screams that produce cardiac arrhythmia); jars that do not require a torque wrench to open; public bathrooms where ALL the doors to the stalls open OUTWARD rather than INWARD (some stalls are so small you have to put one foot on the toilet seat to close the door); warehouse grocery stores that have a "senior" section that has everything we need on just one short aisle...skim milk, decaf coffee, All Bran, reduced fat cheese, Egg Beaters, low sodium soups, Fix-o-Dent, Metamucil, Depends.

(sigh)