PARSE THE WORDS

(sigh)

I read a few books about writing recently, all of which advise that simplicity is key and that verbosity is always out. (Someone should tell James Michener this.) Rather than say, "New York is a great place in springtime when you can actually walk down the streets without breaking a sweat, and you can look above the skyscrapers and see a blue sky," perhaps "New York is magnificent in spring." is a better choice.

So, what about our politicians? Is it possible they could employ speech writers who would keep it simple? The words in yellow lettering might be more to the point.

Obama: The Iraqi government is inefficient and broken. We are finding ourselves in another Viet Nam where victory is not only elusive but also impossible. (We need to bring our troops home with their tails between their legs.)

Hillary: The situation in Iraq is costing this country billions of tax dollars and the lives of our young men and women who didn't want to go there in the first place. (Saving Iraq is as impossible as fixing health care.)

Edwards: Why should we spend billions of dollars on an un-winnable war? Those folks in the Middle East have been at each others' throats for centuries. Who are we to think we can change their minds? (I'm a millionaire and I resent my tax dollars being put down the rabbit hole.)

Kerry: I'm a Viet Nam vet and I understand war. But not this one. We have no exit strategy, no leadership over there. We need to turn around and run as fast as we can from Iraq. (I'm a Viet Nam vet and I get to dis the troops if I want to. Tomorrow I may change my mind.)

McCain: We need to support our troops and take a decisive stand in Iraq. We cannot turn tail and run as Mr. Kerry suggests. (I'm a former POW and I've got the scars to prove it.)

Bush: Iran's and Syria's determination to obtain nu-ca-lah capability is cause for great concern. The free world recognizes the danger and will attempt to employ diplomacy at the highest level in order to defuse this situation. (We're gonna kick their asses if they don't cease and desist.)

Cheney: We're gonna kick their asses if they don't cease and desist. (They're toast.)

"The most essential part of a good writer is a built-in, shock-proof shit detector." So said Ernest Hemingway, and as usual, he was right.

(sigh)