CONTROL, REMOTELY

(sigh)

What IS it about guys and the remote control? Do they have some strange anatomical
parallelism with the damn thing? Is it an extension of their personalities, a machismo they derive from having their fingers on the buttons? Since the true nature of men is to strive to control whatever situation they're in -- and from a distance, at that -- does this device afford them the opportunity to do just that? And with hundreds of channels to surf, their virility must be upwards of the Sears Tower (no phallic metaphor intended).

Most women have been subjected to a man's control over the remote and his constant surfing up and down the channels, regardless of whether we're watching something else. They have no shame. OUR interests are totally unimportant when the remote is in their possession (which is virtually always); therefore, our interests are pretty much ignored most of the time. I know of men who actually HIDE the damn thing so as not to have to wrest it from another family member. I wonder, truly, if fathers aspire for the remote to be their legacy to their sons. There's a distinct demarcation line with remote controls, and they definitely are colored blue instead of pink. Gender expectations are written on the instructions.

There is much scholarship on women, but I don't believe this remote control issue has been studied. It needs to be. There's a new "chick" drama premiering in the fall and I don't want it interspersed with Nascar and pro football.

There's a principle here.

(sigh)