THE YEAR 2016

(sigh)

The year 2016? Here it is. Check it out:

Monica Lewinsky will have a lucrative on-line business selling unusually-curved cigars.

Robin Williams will return to his Mork characterization and proclaim through a drug-induced fog that aliens DO, by god, exist.

Jane Fonda will have a geriatric video out, this one entitled "End it All with Exercise."

Afghanistan's women will throw off their burkas and wrap themselves in muskrat pelts adorned by poppies.

Scientists will discover a relatively inexpensive alternative to petroleum, but big oil will find a way to deep-six it.

Hillary will divorce Bill, move in with Christopher Lowell and sign him up for monthly deliveries of Monica's unusually-curved cigars. (No, WAIT! Christopher already HAS cigars! Let's change that to Yanni!)

Donald Trump will be usurped by Martha Stewart but will write a best-seller entitled, "Million-Dollar Comb-Overs."

Simon Cowell's and Paula Abdul's love-child, Powell Cowell, will be the 2016 American Idol.

All's fair in love and war. Tom Cruise will re-marry Nicole Kidman. Russell Crowe will be best man. Penelope Cruz will be matron of honor.

Diane Feinstein will be committed to a California wellness spa (read ASYLUM).

Christopher Lowell will die from cat-scratch disease.

VDOT will re-invent itself to be called VHI (Virginia Highway Insanity).

Al Gore will gain another 20 pounds and have to be wheelbarrowed around by Tipper, turning around once every other month to thrust his tongue down her throat.

Ted Kennedy will have a fit of conscience and "erect" a sign at the Chappaquidick Bridge stating, "I didn't mean to do it."

Kofi Annan and his son Kojo will be serving their last year in prison.

Coach K will be in his final season at Duke and doing his last few Chevrolet commercials.

Half of Major League Baseball's players will be dying from complications resulting from "I NEVER DID NO STEROIDS" disease.

And me? I can see everyone's future but mine, which is probably a good thing.

Blog on.

(sigh)