ELEVEN PLACES I REALLY WANNA SEE

1) That "cage" Saddam's in during his trial
2) Center court at Cameron Stadium
3) Jo-Lo's uncovered backside. I wanna know if it's REAL.
4) Poe's gravesite
5) Emeril's REAL kitchen (BAM!)
6) VDOT's highway planning room (if it exists)
7) The bulletin board which posts CNN's "Ethics in Broadcasting" policy
8) The place where Prince Charles has his vision checked
9) PETA's headquarters
10) Michael Moore's medicine cabinet
11) Don King's barber shop

Thought this was gonna be a travelogue, didn't ya?
LOL

COFFEE (KAWFEE)

(sigh)

Sitting here writing for the blog this morning I was struck by the warm and fuzzy feeling derived from this morning cup (or two) of ONE of my favorite beverages -- LOL -- coffee (or KAWFEE to Du in South Carolina). I love smelling the beans before grinding them, love the aroma when it's brewing. Love everything about it. I personally like mine about the hue of Halle Berry. Some of my most significant friendships have taken hold over kawfee.
We have so fallen in love with kawfee that there are products across the spectrum derived from it: kawfee ice cream, kawfee liqueurs, kawfee marinades. Southerners know that our world-famous red-eye gravy's main ingredient is kawfee, and catfish takes on a wonderful, complex flavor when marinated in kawfee. We like it perked or pressed (not instant!) hot or cold, strong or weak, black or blond, frapped, espressoed or cappuccinoed. Kawfee is BIG BUSINESS.
Umkay...........Do you ever wonder what the psychology is behind our love affair with certain foods or drinks -- things like kawfee or chocolate or ice cream? "They" keep telling us that these things are soothing to our psyches, and they're probably right. But why IS that?
Is it because these foods are composed of things that create some chemical stimuli in our brains? Or could it just be simply that these are foods that taste good and are therefore pleasing to our palates AND that, in the case of kawfee, it's something we most likely drink every day and is therefore a comforting and familiar HABIT? Whatever the reason, starting the day without it is not happening! Ahh, the complexity (and simplicity) of life.

(sigh)

ELEVEN THINGS

(sigh)

ELEVEN THINGS I'D BUY IF MONEY WERE NO OBJECT:

IN A HEARTBEAT!

1) A houseboat

2) Front-row seats at a Josh Groban concert, any time, any place

3) Unlimited time vacationing on Mahare Island
2nd choice: Mykonos

4) A Jaguar XK

5) An evening with Michael Keaton (yep. Michael Keaton)

6) Lifetime season passes to Duke basketball

7) Cases (plural) of Dom Perignon champagne

8) A year's worth of culinary school (just not in France)

9) Writing tips from William Styron

10) An original draft of one of Rex Stout's Nero Wolfe novels

11) All of Cassandra Gillens' folk art pieces
2nd choice: a P. Buckley Moss lithograph

ELEVEN THINGS I WOULD NEVER, EVER BUY IF MONEY WERE NO OBJECT:

NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS!

1) A yacht

2) Tickets to Barbra Streisand's next "farewell" concert

3) A vacation to France

4) A Rolls Royce

5) A night with Tom Cruise

6) A fur coat (and this has nothing to do with PETA -- I just don't care for them)

7) Caviar

8) A chartered zero gravity flight

9) Front-row seats to ANY opera

10) An original draft of Al Franken's hogwash

11) An original Picasso (guess I don't adequately appreciate his style)

THE DUMBING DOWN OF DAISY DUKE

IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE????

(sigh)

ELEVEN THINGS I REALLY WANNA DO

(sigh)

1) Hug Bill O'Reilly

2) Eat Haagen-Daz coffee ice cream to my heart's content

3) Tell Judy Woodruff (and CNN in general) what I really think

4) Tell Adelphia Cable what I really think

5) Condition myself to run a marathon (LOLOLOLOLOLOL)

6) Slow-dance with Patrick Swayze

7) Hang out with Paula Deen in her Savannah restaurant

8) Finish reading the classics

9) Have dinner at the Inn at Little Washington

10) Learn to speak Spanish so I can communicate in this country

11) Hug Bill O'Reilly again

(sigh)

THE EXECUTION (DEATH) OF MY MINDSET

(sigh)

All right. Here it is.
(deep, deep sigh) I no longer am the ultra-conservative, anally organized, overly cautious, detail-oriented person I once was. After much personal introspection, I have witnessed the execution of my mindset. Thank you, Chet.
Those of you who have known me for a long time have seen the change. Those of you who have known me a short while have most likely seen me in transition. Those of you who don't know me at all except through this blog probably would like me better the way I am today rather than the way I was a year ago.
I am much more "inspired" by people's personal lifestyles (I can hear you laughing, John!), am intrigued by viewpoints not my own (ask Ken), am looking long and hard at what I want and what I need to do to achieve it (thanks to Betty), am learning to understand a simpler way of life (via Jim), have learned to laugh and laugh and laugh (you know it, Du) and just generally have mutinied against the old me.
I PERSONALLY like me better today than the way I was. I worried myself to death before. Now I don't really care. And that's NOT a bad thing. I still care about the important stuff, but it no longer drives me to the brink if the car is not inspected by the last day of the required month, nor am I going to throw myself off a cliff if the house doesn't get cleaned on a specific day. In fact, you should SEE the dust bunnies here! I AM SO VERY PROUD OF THEM BECAUSE IT TELLS ME I HAVE LET THAT NEAR OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVENESS GO!!!!! I am in dust bunny heaven! They flit around my feet, scoot in front of me from room to room, hide seductively in the corners til disturbed. They represent a mindset gone bye-bye.
And I am content.
(sigh)

IF A GUY HAS A CAT, IS HE A REAL GUY???

(sigh)

Talk me down.....please.
What IS it about guys and (OMG) CATS!!! Times have certainly changed since I was a kid. In those days of old (LOL), there was no such thing as a guy having a cat for a pet! No sir. Never. Not in a million years. Even the prissy guys didn't dare entertain such a thing. But THESE DAYS! There are guys out there who love, nurture and fawn over cats named Amber and Rochelle, not to mention Missy, Faux Paw, and my personal favorite -- Li'l Ho. These guys are INTO this stuff! Consider Tom and his cat, Jerry, which is sooo funny considering that in the cartoon Jerry is a mouse; Will and his cat, Grace; Butch and his cat, Sundance. (sigh)
There are magazines devoted to men and their cats; websites full of information on de-clawing and how to determine the precise psychological bent of your cat; support groups for those who have "outed" themselves about their feline fetishes. Evidently there is a HUGE amount of grief among male cat lovers due to their lack of support from friends when something horrible befalls Faux Paw or Li'l Ho.
Hear that? That's me falling down laughing!
(LOL)

TEN QUESTIONS

(sigh)
FIVE QUESTIONS/COMMENTS THAT MAKE ME CRAZY:

1) Is this the lady of the house?
2) Do you wanna super-size that?
3) For English, press "1"
4) Paper or plastic?
5) They're REAL, aren't they?

FIVE QUESTIONS THAT MAKE ME LOVE YOU:

1) May I pour you a glass?
2) You're 40, right?
3) May I pour you another glass?
4) You're 35, right?
5) They're real, AREN'T THEY?

(sigh)

LANGUAGE LESSONS

(sigh)

The blog is shocked.

It amazes me that some people go through life not understanding that the objects of prepositions are always objective, not nominative, pronouns. How many times do you hear things like "Mom sent Brad and I some X-rated videos."
Ok, ok, so maybe Mom wouldn't send X-rated videos, but WHATEVER she sent -- it would NOT be "to Brad and I." She would have sent them (or whatever) to Brad and ME (objective case ME...object of the preposition "to.")
And, blog readers, as I'm certain all of YOU know, the words are REAL-TOR, not REAL-A-TOR and BUS-I-NESS, not BI-NESS.
Another peeve is that in the south, especially, we have not yet learned that every noun is not (OMG) POSSESSIVE. Just recently I have seen signs like:

Closed for the Holiday's
Puppy's for Sale
Mikes Motor Bike's (Mike needs to understand that HE possesses the bikes and that the bikes possess nothing. Bless his heart.)

(sigh)

COLLEGE ENGLISH ASSIGNMENT

A friend sent me this and I thought it was so funny, so interesting, so worthy of putting out here for you to read. It was a forwarded email with no credit assigned except for the statement about it being an assignment from a professor from the University of Phoenix. I have no idea whether that's correct, but since it's been forwarded around many times i can only assume that I'm not infringing on anyone's copyright. Enjoy.

College English Assignment
Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix.
The professor told his class one day, "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY

(First paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(Second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his trans-galactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she wondered wistfully.

(Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mother ship launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F**KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air-headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca) A**hole.
(Gary) B*tch
(Rebecca) F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!
(Gary) Go drink some tea - whore.
(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one.

OREGON AND ASSISTED SUICIDE

(sigh)
You know, it's funny. Just last week I sat at the computer and started writing a post for this blog on euthanasia. It was actually pretty good, too; but the more I thought about it, the more unnerved I became at the emails I would surely receive condemning my "flawed" thought processes on the subject. Now, I'm not afraid in the least of criticism...it's just that I didn't think I wanted to be involved in a month's worth of back-and-forths on this particular subject. So, I hit "delete" and that was that.
Now, of course, this subject has reared its very head this week as a result of the U. S. Supreme Court's 6-3 decision upholding Oregon's assisted suicide law. In the past on this blog I have been intolerant of Oregon's overdone liberal leanings (see Cultural Competence??? Good Grief!!!), but I must tell you that I am in TOTAL agreement with that state's willingness to allow its citizens to choose when and how to end their lives. The law has enough safeguards to preclude any insidious injunction by those directly involved, and it provides for a medical resolution rather than some clumsy individual attempt at suicide. I'm not delving any further into this, but for once I think Oregon's forward thinking has paid off.
(sigh)

DUKE BASKETBALL

sigh)

OK, the Blue Devils are 14-0! What's not to like, right?

But......

I am amazed at the number of people who can't abide Duke as a basketball team, and I just have the hardest time understanding that. It seems that with Duke you either love'em or hate'em -- there doesn't seem to be any middle ground. My guess is that Duke is so good, so accomplished, so consistent that it takes the fun out of watching your team play them.....you pretty much know what the outcome will be. You're sick to death of Duke WINNING.

But here's the thing. This is a school which advocates discipline, sportsmanship and team effort in its players on the court; education, diligence and hard work in the classroom; and honesty, integrity and restraint in their personal lives. You hardly ever hear of a Duke player in trouble for rape, drug use, or DUI (unlike Keith Jenifer of Virginia a while back or football player Marcus Vick of Virginia Tech recently and in the past). This is a school whose coach is legend not just for his won-lost record but for his leadership and guidance of his players over the years. You don't hear of Duke being in trouble for recruitment violations or other questionable tactics used by colleges all over the country to enhance their programs.

Duke is a school whose reputation as one of the best universities in the country is well deserved, and its basketball program is top-notch. We should ALL be supporting a school and sports program of this caliber.

Besides, how many teams do you know that produce the likes of Christian Laettner, Mike Dunleavy and J. J. Redick?

(sigh, sigh, and sigh -- LOL)

DIANE FEINSTEIN -- AGAIN!!!

(sigh)
You know, I don't know if you're aware of what this woman has said recently about Judge Alito, but she is making me crazier by the day! I'm not even going into it here on the blog. Look for yourself at her recent remarks about this enormously qualified Supreme Court nominee and let me know if this senator should even be walking around unsupervised!
She truly does upset me, but the day's not a total loss...Duke beat Wake tonight making them 14-0!

HOW TO COOK (AND LOOK) LIKE RACHEL RAY

(sigh)
Rachel Ray has truly become a phenomenon...she is EVERYWHERE! She has three TV shows on the Food Network which run several times every day; she has several cookbooks out which are heavily advertised on her home channel, the internet and nation-wide in bookstores everywhere. She's been featured in many popular magazines in the past few months touting not only her innovative "30-Minute Meals" cooking show but also her "perky" personality. That "perkiness" is what has sold Rachel Ray. She is cute, bubbly, upbeat and has a million-dollar smile.
Initially people tuned in to her "30-Minute Meals" TV show because it offers real-time preparation of healthy fare. Rachel cooks the entire meal during the course of the half hour, and almost always the food is interesting yet simple, usually with an Italian flair -- and it's always balanced nutrition. But now people are tuning in to see RACHEL...her meal prep has become secondary to her personality. I know men who routinely watch her show just to see HER. And she IS adorable. She doesn't take herself seriously, has fun in the kitchen and is practical in her recipes. Rachel's dishes take advantage of a good amount of already-prepped foods so it may not be the least expensive menu; but this show is about TIME, not MONEY. She doesn't bake, she says, so most of her desserts are simple renderings of store-bought cake spruced up with a quickly-made fruit glaze or fresh fruit with an intriguing liqueur poured over top.
Her "look" has changed somewhat over the past couple of years. I've been watching her show since it first aired, and even though she was cute then, her style has become more sophisticated. She still dresses down to cook, but her hair is professionally coifed and highlighted and her makeup impeccable. But there's not much they can do to take away that perkiness....they can glamorize her all they want. I have a feeling that Rachel Ray is the real deal.