FINAL DECREE

(deep sigh)

On 11/30/06, eighteen days before our 41st anniversary, a divorce decree was issued ending my marriage to a man who will forever have my love, contempt, respect, disgust. This is a man who went about ending things the wrong way but who was a saint for enduring my Type A personality all those years.

He's practical but not fussy; accepting but no pushover; firm in his convictions but willing to listen; slow to start a project but meticulous and accurate. He's a kind, gentle guy with subtle charm and charisma; lots of smarts and versatility; unusual and varied interests; and an overall character to which we should all aspire.

Granted, I suspect there are things that transpired over the years that I'd rather not know about, but overall he's a wonderful man and I'm a much better person for having him in my life. We loved one another; grew together; worked hard; made a wonderful home; raised extraordinary children; helped mold our grandchildren. I regret nothing. In fact, I look forward to having him as my best friend.

To you, honey.

(sigh)

RELATIONSHIPS

(deep sigh)

What is it about modern-day relationships, even those between two people who grew up in the fifties and sixties when commitment meant something, that causes things to run amok? You'd think we'd be old enough, wise enough, experienced enough to put those things aside that drove us crazy in high school and college. Maybe it's just that people are human and that no matter how much we are intellectually aware of stuff we nonetheless still have feelings of insecurity from time to time. And those insecurities, whether they emanated from past failed relationships or something quite different, tend to rear their ugly heads at always the wrong times.

It's been a rough two years for me here, and I'm not sure my sanity is intact as I sit here blogging away. The end of a long, long marriage and the resulting depression and hopelessness was enough to put me away. Eventually I caught my breath and dated quite a bit -- all kind, interesting guys but only one in the course of a year was meaningful. Until I met Bill.

This has been a significant relationship for a year -- a magical one, if you please. But, as in most relationships, there are issues. Issues that we are working to resolve, but the work is slow and tedious. I've never known anyone so thoughtful, so creative, so caring as Bill. He is so different from anyone I've ever known, which is what fascinates me. But this "difference" also perplexes me, as I'm certain my idiosyncracies do him. And this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it DOES at times jeopardize the stability of the relationship. Both of us have been hurt by past relationships, which tends to sometimes make us tenuous and vulnerable to "perceived" injustices.

At this stage of our lives, I don't think either of us can change the way we think, the individual needs we have, the things that push our buttons. But this guy is worth whatever effort it takes, and I'm prepared to make it. Hopefully he feels the same about me.

(more deep sighs)

HEIGHT-OF-ABSURDITY CHRISTMAS GIFTS

(sigh)

OMG.

While trying to recuperate from the crud from hell recently, the efforts of a mindless television industry innundated me with stuff that just blew me away. I lay in a stupor looking at commercials for Doggie Steps, which is a stairway-like thing that pet owners place at the foot of their beds (or sofas, or toilets, or what-the-hell-other places) so that the animal can easily traverse the couple of feet required; and some kind of automatic device for raking cat litter boxes. The "Petsmart" stores have speed bumps in front of them so we almost have to come to a stop if someone is crossing the five-foot area to their parking space with a leashed animal! WE ARE F______G NUTS IN THIS COUNTRY, DO YOU HEAR?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all, a disclaimer. I like dogs. I do not like cats. But I have friends who do. So there.

DO NOT WRITE ME ABOUT HOW WRONG I AM ABOUT THIS. YOU WILL NEVER CONVINCE ME! I don't believe a pet's place is residing in the same enclosed space with humans, and I especially don't think an animal's place is on the bed with folks. I don't care how clean you think your pet is, it ain't. Until they find a way to keep animals from licking their private parts and then licking you in the face, I shall feel this way. And the next time I see an animal regurgitate and then dine a second time on it, I shall take a picture and include it on this blog as evidence supporting my case.

I know, I know. Cats are supposed to be clean. Not. Think of how many times they've excused themselves to the litter box where there are several days' worth of "business" and then "sprightly and adoringly" leapt to your kitchen counter top where your salad will soon be prepared.

Nope. You'll never convince me that the animal dander isn't in the air I breathe, that their behinds are clean, that they don't have odors.......unpleasant ones at that. But since there are all these new inventions out there catering to pet lovers, it's only a matter of time before someone develops a device for cleansing the business areas of pets, all for only $19.95 plus a small fee for shipping and handling.

(sigh)

LIBERAL VS. CONSERVATIVE

(sigh)

A friend emailed me the other day to tell me she had stumbled on a website that just happens to be my name (my REAL name) dot com. I'd tell you what it is so you could check it out, but I'd like to maintain SOME anonymity on this blog. But suffice it to say that it cracked me up big time. This person with my very same moniker is an artist and a free-spirited liberal, which I found to be so ironic since I can neither draw a stick figure nor think free-spirited or liberal. Her website is full of "karma" talk, etc., and a semi-nude of herself -- and she evidently enjoys some acclaim. It just struck me that I'm so far to the right in my thinking that just seeing my name on a site of this kind is disconcerting. But I laughed.....
and wondered if I could commission her to do a semi-nude of ME to include on my blog.
Hmmm.
Maybe I'm not as conservative as I think!

(LOL)

REDISCOVER SOUTHERN AUTHORS

(sigh)

I was thinking recently about southern authors -- how many of them there were and are, how varied their works, how much I love to escape in those wonderful books. But aside from their most famous fiction and non-fiction there are a myriad of lesser-known but otherwise wonderful published writings from each and every one of them. Take, for example, Erskine Caldwell. Tobacco Road is his most famous book, but his novel A House in the Uplands is an absorbing story of life on a southern plantation. When we think of Joel Chandler Harris we can see the Uncle Remus stories in our minds. But pick up a copy of Free Joe and get a feel for what Harris was REALLY trying to tell us in Uncle Remus.

Go Down, Moses may not have the literary acclaim of William Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury, but it's a topical treatise of black/white relations in the Old South. And catch up with Mark Twain's "devilishly" (LOL) funny prose in Letters from the Earth. Tennessee Williams, best-known for his plays ("Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," "The Glass Menagerie") wrote mesmerizing fiction, especially in The Bag People. Do what you can to get a copy of this -- it's hard to find but worth it. Truman Capote's terrific book, In Cold Blood, overshadows most of his other work (possibly with the exception of the "Breakfast at Tiffany's" novella), but read Other Voices, Other Rooms for the true southern Gothic experience.

Eudora Welty (read Robber Bridegroom), Carson Mccullers (bring tissues when you settle down with The Heart is a Lonely Hunter), Flannery O'Connor (pick up Wise Blood) were inspired women authors from the south, and I love everything I've read of theirs. Harper Lee and Margaret Mitchell were one-book geniuses with To Kill a Mockingbird and Gone with the Wind respectively. And if you read this blog, you KNOW how I feel about To Kill a Mockingbird.

What's so amazing about all these writers from below the Mason-Dixon line is that if you're FROM the south, you identify immediately with the mood and ambiance in their writings; and if you're NOT from the south, the flavors of their prose are so rich that you'll KNOW what it's like to be down and dirty in the tobacco fields or sipping juleps on the veranda. I'm sure there are other parts of this country that celebrate their heritage; but I doubt they have the traditions, the drama, the angst even, that the south has. We are so full of ourselves -- and sooooo ready to take you to our bosom.

Damn, we're good.

(sigh)

VIRGINIA VOTER QUANDARY

(sigh)

Politics, smolitics.

What's the backstory on these two clowns running for the U. S. Senate from Virginia? I'll tell ya. They're both losers of the worst sort......to say one of them will "win" is an oxymoron. It seems that more and more there isn't a candidate who values values -- and, no, that isn't a grammatical error. The ugliness of the campaigns, the sleaziness of the candidates, the ineptness of the speech writers, the over-zealousness of the staffs -- it's all terrifying because it's all we've got.

Confused, I am. But not about the issues. I'm quite clear on those. It's the quandary we face in having to make a choice between candidates, especially when the choices are equally bad.

(sigh)

HALLOWEEN'S SCARIEST PICTURE

Here it is.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence. - Anonymous

(I don't necessarily agree with this.)

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Second place is the first loser. -- Emoxer

ANDY ROONEY AND IRAQ

(sigh)

There are tons of people smarter than I in the world, but I sometimes wonder if they see the lint when they contemplate their navels.

I listened to Andy Rooney talk about Iraq on "60 Minutes" the other night and couldn't help but wonder if his eyebrows have wormed their way into his brain through his ears and short circuited his thinking. The bottom line to his recent commentary is that while we did the right thing in getting rid of Saddam that we are now in a war that is wrong...that Bush should address the people of this country and tell them that he thought we were doing the right thing by going into Iraq but that he made a mistake and that we should now pull out.

This isn't going to happen, and it shouldn't. We can't leave the people of Iraq in the throes of civil war, created (much to my chagrin) by our actions over there. We need to finish what we went there to do.

But
this
isn't
going
to
happen
either.

I don't think we'll be able to win this war because the religious hostilities bear such a close resemblance to the Palestinian/Israeli conflict of decades. It's not about oil, it's about religious intolerance. Add the terrorist element into the mix, with their own religious agenda, and what stacks up is a situation not resolvable. I feel sorry for President Bush. And what I'd like to ask him is why we just didn't arrange for Saddam to meet with an "accident" and then sit back and let the Iraqis try to right themselves once he was gone. We could have watched from the sidelines and hoped for the best.

(sigh)

MORE IDIOCY

(sigh)

OK...a while back I wrote about cosmetic surgery's newest fad -- labiaplasty. This just blew my mind. Today I read about yet ANOTHER of medical science's fad in the Make-Yourself-Beautiful-At-All-Cost effort ------- eyelash transplants. Is this because the nip-and-tuck docs have enhanced, reduced, re-shaped or suctioned every available part of the anatomy and are looking for something new?
We'd better be careful. Next thing you know we'll all look like Michael Jackson.

(sigh)

PINK FLAMINGOS, REVISITED

(sigh)

Last Saturday I was at a nursery shopping for hay for a hayride and pumpkins to paint when I came across -- guess what! Several pink flamingos, one of which was a "spinner!" They all had Don Featherstone's signature molded into their pink plastic behinds, so I was ecstatic to find that I was truly looking at originals! Made my day, it did!

(LOL)

THE BEST OF THE CHESTS

(LOL)

Somewhere recently on line I stumbled across a website called “Rate My Rack,” which elicited a raucous guffaw from me. God, I love the internet! Anyway, since I’m not about to let you rate MY rack, I thought a variation on it might make an interesting post.

(FEMALE – REAL OR FAKE CATEGORY, PAST OR PRESENT)

5. Britney Spears (pre-pregnancy)
4. Halle Berry
3. Scarlett Johannson
2. Elizabeth Taylor (in "Cleopatra")
1. Maxine (She is forever queen!)

THE BEST OF THE CHESTS (MALE - PAST OR PRESENT)

5. John F. Kennedy, Jr. (from age 18 – demise)
4. Jake Gyllenhaal
3. Mel Gibson (in “Lethal Weapon” series)
2. Matthew McConaughey
1. Patrick Swayze (in “Dirty Dancing”). (He is forever king!)

(LOL)

WHY I LOVE FALL

(sigh)

This gorgeous fall specimen is one of the reasons I so love the fall. This tree takes my breath away every single October.

(Is this a sign of getting older? LOL)

BILL AND ME

(lol)

And it's not even Halloween!
(Only one of us is normal! )

(lol again)

300,000,000 AND COUNTING

(sigh)

Once again, we have lost our collective minds in this country. While watching the news last night I viewed a clip from the Census Bureau from yesterday morning celebrating with loud applause the turning of the population board to 300 million of us Americans (well, it's most likely 200 million actual Americans and 100 million illegals). They even had refreshments to celebrate the occasion.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE???????????????????

Yeah, yeah....I heard all the "positives" and I don't buy into a single one of them. The key argument for celebrating our population increase is that we need babies to continue to be born so they may support the elder population down the road. Pffffffft! All we need is adequate tax reform so we keep more of our earnings to save and/or invest for our retirements, and some restraint on fiscal spending.

Hmmm....maybe we DO need more babies. We're never gonna get either tax reform or fiscal responsibility.

(sigh)

CLASSMATES

(sigh)

I have no idea what has possessed me to think about high school classmates recently. I left the small town I grew up in for good in 1964 and didn't look back. I visit family there from time to time but don't feel any roots to that place. Sad, I suppose. Must be a character flaw since there are many still there with whom I grew up who love the town and the way of life it offers. It just wasn't for me. Or, maybe I just wasn't for IT.

I have warm and fuzzy memories as a young child growing up there, as evidenced by several blog posts along those lines. But as I grew older I found the small town to be stifling, and I looked forward to leaving it behind. I don't regret doing so. The south is a wonderful place overall -- full of history and steeped in memorable traditions. I love it all. I just didn't care for the ennui-producing facets of life in a mill town. Again, probably a character flaw of mine.

At any rate, I was thinking about those who were friends -- Linda D., Linda P., Mike, Tom, Jim, Eddie, Pixie, Whit, Gloria, Billy, Barry, Kitsie, Carolyn, Susan, Jeannette, Tres, Lynn, Andy, Anne, Barbara, Flo, Bobby, Earving, Wayne, Cindy, etc., etc. -- and wondering what they made of their lives and if they're happy. Some of them I know about; others, I don't. But they'll always be in my memories, and pleasant ones at that.

(sigh)

IMMIGRATION LIMITATION

(sigh)

OK, here I go gettin’ up on my high horse again about immigrants – both illegal AND legal! It rankles me that we are undisciplined in our thinking about the huge issues surrounding allowing unlimited numbers of folks into this country every year. While we have our problems, we are nonetheless a thriving, prosperous country; however, our resources – both natural and otherwise – know some bounds. I’m certain my liberal friends out there think I’m heartless, but I’m not actually. It’s just that I have grave concerns about our ability as a nation to provide for the numbers of people who want access to America’s riches and opportunities.

When one contemplates what overpopulation has done to countries like China and India, one has to wonder if we may not be in similar circumstances 50 years from now if we allow immigration to remain unchecked. Granted, we are more advanced in many ways than India and we most likely would fare better in the long run than they; but the Chinese are in dire straits and they are quite industrious. Over-population is doom to an economy and a country's ability to prosper.

Over seventy percent of growth in this country is a result of immigration -- immigrants who tax our system in every way imaginable: overcrowded schools and prisons, traffic, energy shortages, water shortages, pollution of all kinds. Does it sound harsh to blame an influx of immigrants for these things? Not at all. With U.S. birth rates having fallen to record lows, the strains on our resources is from unchecked immigration rather than Americans' mommy track. Of course we need to attend to our "Give us your tired, your poor" philosophy, but we need to do it in a more level-headed way. We need to define what numbers we can realistically accommodate yearly and find a way to seal the borders. Maybe even a moratorium is in order until we can catch our breath and work through the problems associated with this mass of humanity flowing (legally and illegally) into our midst.

(sigh)

IS THIS WHO I AM?

I'm not really quite sure this is who I am, but I suppose it's as close to ringing true as anything else, especially the "Go, Duke" sweatshirt and the "southernsighs1" blog up on the computer!

(LOL)

BLOG ANNIVERSARY

(sigh)

This blog is a year old today.

Last year when I was trying to decide if I wanted to do this, I couldn't imagine that I had anything to say of interest to anyone. But it was a time in my life when I needed an outlet, and this was as good as any.

I get up in the morning, put on the coffee and sit here enjoying the solitude and write whatever's on my mind. It's not rocket science, but I'm flattered when folks read me and take the time to email or comment.

The friend who encouraged me to start this blog has commented many times, has provided topics for posts, has just generally been there to spur me on. He has an amazing blog of his own. It's serious, funny, insightful, inspirational. I'm very grateful to him, and he knows who he is.

So, I'll keep writing silly stuff, keep ranting about serious (and trivial) stuff, so long as you keep reading. And maybe even if you don't.

(sigh)

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the battery is dead? -- Anonymous

MEMORIES FOR SALE

(sigh)

OK, I did it. I'm downsizing. I bought a villa in town and have this beautiful family home on the market. The agent put the "For Sale" sign up today. I cried.

I hate the thought of leaving here, but it's just too much to maintain any more. Hopefully some young family will fall in love with it and call it "home" just the way my family and I did.

God, life is hard.

(sigh)

"TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD," RE-VISITED

(sigh)

Last night I popped some popcorn and pulled out my tape of "To Kill a Mockingbird." It's that time of year.

One of my first posts on this blog was about that movie -- a movie that I watch every fall and love more every time I see it. The older I get, the more poignant that film becomes.

Do yourself a favor and rent it.

(sigh)

ARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH

MY GOD, HE'S LOOSE WITH THE POWER WASHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those of you who know this guy I'm hanging out with, you know what I mean!!!

PINK FLAMINGOS

(sigh)

Hurry! For a limited time you can purchase a set of pink flamingos for just $34.95! (sigh again)

Recently I passed an upscale housing area and saw 25 (count'em!) plastic pink flamingos in one yard! Twenty-five! Is this an OMG collection??? Do these folks add one or two each year so eventually they'll have a FLOCK? (Is "flock" the right term for one hell-of-a-lot of pink flamingos?) Is this lawn art? These might be okay in Florida (home of the 1990 hanging chads) because we expect such things from those folks....but in Virginia! Oh, my!

I had to research this. Do you know there are specialty pink flamingos -- lighted ones, ones specifically made for gardens that light up as well, and the specialty "spinners" (see top left picture)? Did you know they were created years ago by artist (and I use the term loosely) Don Featherstone, whose name is molded into the butt of the flamingos? Be aware of knock-off pink flamingos -- the ones without Featherstone's signature. Heaven forbid we should purchase one without that name on the butt.

And finally, FYI, there are anti-plastic flamingo groups out there whose sole mission is to eliminate the production of these jewels.

I just sent in my dues.

(sigh)

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL: I didn't just fall off the turnip truck. The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. Now I'm not judging, but what we need to do is help him realize how unhealthy he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems. All he has to do is ask himself, "How's it workin' for me so far?" How am I doin' so far?

OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. I'm so impressed by his personal courage and willingness to share his plight. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes, which is a cruel part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. I think there are some kind of chicken weapons on the other side of the road, but whether there are or not makes no difference. There is no middle ground here, and I'm more than willing to defend the American farmer.

CHAIRMAN, JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not have sexual relations with that chicken.Well, not THAT chicken.

FOX NEWS: Whatever the President says, we agree with it. It's the liberal press who's distorting everything.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it. It was the wrong road to cross and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

AL GORE: I'm certain it has to do with global warming. Did I tell you I invented the Chicken Crossing process?

DICK CHENEY: Yes, I meant to shoot the chicken. But my friend looked like a chicken and I accidentally shot him instead. I'm a politician. Mistakes happen. Shut up.

PAT BUCHANAN: He obviously crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die in the rain. Alone!

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!

SENIOR CITIZENS: In our day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. We could trust our leaders back then.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: "Imagine" all the chickens-- living in the world. Crossing roads together - in peace and harmony. All we want is.... just give chickens a chance."

ARISTOTLE: It is in the nature of chickens to cross a road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken'06, which will not only cross roads, but will facilitate egg laying, file important hen house documents and balance chicken check books. Our Platform is much more stable and will never crash....

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind. -- Mohandas Gandhi

Ah, what INSIGHT! LOL

MAINSTREAM AMERICA SUCKS

(sigh)

During a chat with a very good friend recently, it was pointed out to me that my likes and dislikes don't coincide with "mainstream America's." Hmmm. You know what this means, right?

I can't abide country music; don't understand the joy of watching grown men drive around an oval in NASCAR race cars; don't see the fun in line dancing; think tattoos are ridiculous; think body piercings are insane; am taken aback by men wearing necklaces; can't grasp the thrill of motorcycles; have no patience for screaming kids in restaurants; am terrified at the thought of Hillary as President (even if she IS a woman!).

What does this MAKE me? A Mozart listener; a college hoops fan; someone who still likes to slow dance; someone probably hung up on the old stigma of drunken sailors getting tattooed; not "with it" enough to see the fashion statement in stainless steel jammed into tongues, nipples, etc.; old-fashioned enough to think it's sissy for guys to wear jewelry other than simple rings (and only one at a time!); too old to remember how difficult it is to manage children in public places; a Republican through and through!

If you don't mind, I'll stay on the periphery of "Mainstream America." (And it's probably where you WANT me anyway! LOL)

(sigh)

CHAT WITH DOUG WILDER

(sigh)

I spent most of yesterday in the Library of Virginia in Richmond. About mid-afternoon I took a book on slavery that I was reading to the cafe there in hopes of enjoying a caffeine break. Who was sitting there but Doug Wilder, ex-Governor of Virginia and now Mayor of Richmond. We both nodded a pleasantry and I sat down across the cafe to read and sip. After several minutes Mr. Wilder walked over and said he'd noticed I was reading a book on slavery in Virginia, and he proceeded to talk about the slavery museum to be built in Fredericksburg.

I was never a big fan of Wilder when he was Governor, believing that his economic policies were questionable and his derisiveness toward Bush 41 was unnecessary. But he is a charming man and a slick politician, make no mistake.

But I wasn't fooled.

(sigh)

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Always borrow money from a pessimist; he won't expect it back. -- Anonymous

I WANT A CHILD-FREE RESTAURANT!

(sigh)

Doggone it.

I had lunch with a friend yesterday and was "sandwiched" between two families with screaming, pooping, writhing babies! I've written about this before on this blog, and it seems to get worse and worse, I swear. Of course, the mother behind me in the booth eventually held the child, which made his screams and antics no more than 8 inches from the rear of my head. It never ceases to amaze me how parents can be so oblivious to how their children's behavior is affecting those around them. Granted, infants know only that they're tired, wet, messy, hungry, hurting -- but the MOMS! Now THEY'RE old enough to fathom that a screaming, yelping baby can't possibly be conducive to digestion! THEY may be used to it, but I'm NOT!
Why did I go there when this has happened to me before at this very same place? Because there's virtually NOWHERE one can dine any longer without enduring this insensitivity.
I'm ready to call it quits on eating out.

(sigh)

GO, USA!!!

(sigh)

September 11, 2001 is, I'm sure, a day none of us will forget. It's one of those dates that will forever stick in our minds, and we'll remember where we were when we heard the news of the terrorist attacks -- just as those of us who are old enough will remember where we were when we heard Kennedy was assasinated or when the space shuttle exploded. It was a history-making event of enormous magnitude.

There will be boat-loads of memorial tributes today, and they're worthwhile for sure. But as individuals we might be better served by shutting out the hype and just quietly reflecting for a moment about how fortunate we are to live in this country -- warts and all.

(sigh)

ILLEGALS AND 9/11

(sigh)

Oh, the twists and turns of justice.

I've been reading about the widows/widowers of 9/11 who were in this country illegally on that day and whose spouses were killed during the terrorist attack in New York. Even though they were here illegally, they received payouts from the Victims' Compensation Fund, as well they should. But lately there has been an outpouring of bleeding-heart propaganda in an attempt to arouse public support for those individuals to receive green cards since they lost their spouses on that day. The stories abound about how they paid thousands of dollars to cross illegally, how they are living in rat-infested apartments, how they are now millionaires as a result of the compensation but are afraid to spend the money, how they can't get social security numbers or drivers' licenses without a green card.

Wait a minute.

There's a simple (OMG) ANSWER to this dilemma, and that is for them to apply for citizenship and be LEGAL residents of this country. Then they can get on with their lives, provide for their families and go about their business without constantly looking over their shoulders. Why does the liberal press constantly push for a "gimme"? Why doesn't someone instead suggest and assist in their obtaining legal status? This stuff makes me crazy.

(sigh)

ANOTHER SLEEPLESS NIGHT

(sigh)

It's 3:40 a.m. and here I sit unable to sleep, coffee at hand. There are a million things flitting through this cobwebbed mind giving me a second consecutive sleepless night. I need to move on.

I have a lovely place here which has been home for 21 years. A place designed, custom built and decorated with thoughts, ideas and preferences of the two of us. A place our children call home and where our grandchildren romped through the woods, swam in the summers, carried out family traditions. Now there is no "two." As I await a divorce decree to be issued, it's hard not to reflect on all those things and feel an overwhelming sadness of times past. But this wonderful place is too big for me now, too much to maintain, too expensive for one person to manage. It's time to go.

I've looked at almost 50 properties in the past year and a half...some beautiful, shiny new places, some without any character whatsoever, some nice but in the wrong area. Nothing seems to fit. I'm saddened at the thought of moving the things that surround and comfort me to another place. I'm overwhelmed with the logistics of selling, coordinating a move, dealing with all the financial and personal details that are attendant to it. I hate to leave my neighbors, whom I've just within the past two years come to really know. I dread the thought of starting over at this time in my life when I should be enjoying retirement rather than worrying about all this.

I'm tired. But sleep isn't anywhere nearby.

(sigh)

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. -- Napolean Bonaparte

IRAN, THE U.N., THE E.U.

(sigh)

When I read A.P. reports with quotes like this, I laugh:

"The United States said on Friday it was consulting European governments about possible sanctions against the Islamic Republic [Iran], but the EU has signaled it wants more dialogue and has agreed to try to clarify Iran's stance within two weeks."

or this:

"European Union foreign policy chief Javier Solana will meet Iran's chief nuclear negotiator, Ali Larijani, next week to try to clear up ambiguities in Tehran's reply to the major powers' offer of broad cooperation if it stops the nuclear work."

"More dialogue"? This is what politicians refer to as "diplomacy." Well, let us search for a dialogue while Iran snickers and continues its work on uranium enrichment.

"Ambiguities?" Yeah, right. I saw nothing ambiguous about Iran's total failure to meet the U.N. Security deadline on 8/31 to halt uranium enrichment. The threat of sanctions is meaningless to Iran. They are flush with petrodollars and could care less what the United States or the U.N. thinks. They are on a mission. What worries me is that it's just a matter of time before Iran and North Korea both have nuclear capability to threaten most of the free world, and the heads of state in both those countries are insane. We'd better be thinking outside the box here and leaving the "dialogue" to those wimps in the E.U. and the U.N. while we work diligently to save the world from catastrophe.

God, I hope Washington knows more than they're telling us and that they have a "PLAN"!!!

(sigh)

NU - KA - LA GEORGE

(sigh)

Honestly.

I have a lot of admiration for George Bush, but if he doesn't learn how to pronounce "nuclear," I'm going to lose respect. For six years now we've heard him say "nu - ka - la," and there's just no excuse for the leader of the free world to speak that way. Is there no one around him with enough moxie to TELL him how the word is pronounced?

OMG.

(sigh)

NEW ORLEANS, KATRINA AND COMMON SENSE

(sigh)

I have a feeling this post is gonna elicit lots of emails from outraged folks, so I apologize up front if I offend you.

We've been beseiged all week by "anniversary" documentaries, newscasts, magazine articles and newspaper stories about the devastation Hurricane Katrina wrecked on New Orleans last year. That's most likely understandable since it was a natural disaster of major proportions and resulted in death and destruction to many people, homes, businesses. The City of New Orleans itself was nearly washed away.

Now. As sympathetic as I am to the individuals in that city about what happened, I hope the rebuilding of the city will result in also a cleansing of the corruption, decadence and incompetence that was pervasive. The looting and shooting that followed the storm was shocking. Some of that can be expected; but rather than the people pulling together and helping one another, they reverted to anarchy. One can't help but compare New Orleans' bad behavior to New York's exemplary behavior following 9/11.

I know people who have fallen in love with New Orleans over the years. They love the debauchery, the bare-breasted women, the 24/7 party atmosphere, the casinos. Some even mention they love the "old south" look, the jazz-on-the-streets, the food. But it's a dirty city, crime ridden, has the feel that you must sidestep the vomit on every street. I've seen nothing there that interested me, saw nothing "southern" about it. And that was on a GOOD day.

Before Katrina, the city was impoverished, dependent on tourism, struggling to overcome kickbacks and contract fraud from its former mayor, Marc Morial. It employs one of the most (if not THE most) corrupt police forces in the country, has no infrastructure to speak of and no competence in its local government.

It was crumbling pre-Katrina; let's hope this post-Katrina effort will be more than a correction of the breeched levees. Let's hope the city can sniff out some integrity.

(sigh)

A LIBERAL DOSE

(sigh)

A friend sent these to me today. I love them.

"A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money."
………G. Gordon Liddy

"A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have."
..........Thomas Jefferson

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

It is better to build children than to repair adults. -- Anonymous

CREST, CREST AND MORE CREST

(sigh)

Ok. This is mind-numbing trivial, but it's another one of life's burrs-on-my-backside. I know, I know. You're wondering if I do, in fact, have a life since I've been ranting for the past week about seatbelts, pantyhose and now toothpaste. Well, I can assure you that I DO have a life and it is constantly beseiged by these burrs.

Tonight I was searching for a tube of Crest toothpaste. This is no small feat any longer. Crest has saturated the market with so many different kinds of stuff for your teeth that it blows my mind. All I wanted was a simple tube of REGULAR freakin' toothpaste and here's what I saw: Crest Cavity Protection; Crest Gels in Cool Mint, Smooth Mint, Fresh Mint and Clean Mint flavors; Crest Rejuvenating Effects Liquid Gel; Crest Spiderman Liquid Gel; Crest Value Pack Whitening Toothpaste with Tartar Protection in a variety of flavors; Crest Multi-Care Whitening Toothpaste in a variety of flavors; Crest Neat Squeeze Children's Toothpaste; Crest Plus Scope; Crest Sensitivity with Extra Whitening; Crest Whitening Fluoride Anticavity Toothpaste Plus Scope; and last but certainly not least -- Crest Whitening with Baking Soda and Peroxide.

Spiderman Liquid Gel it is.

(sigh, dammit.)

THE BEACH

(sigh)

Look here, look there
They're everywhere!
I'm sick to death, I moan
Of seeing nubile lasses' asses
And breasts of silicone!
Tattoos on butts
And navel rings
Thongs thrust in nether places
It makes me cringe to think about
The piercings on their faces.

Bleached hair, capped teeth, acrylic nails
A spray-on tan they sought
I wonder if the guys're aware
These girls are really "bought."

I think I'm done with sand and surf
Don't wanna be a harpie
But can't compete with times today
And all the plastic Barbies!

(sigh)

FLORIDA AND THE VOTE

(LOL)

I saw the funniest "Dummy" book today.....Voting for Dummies -- A Reference for Florida Voters." This had chapters on "Hole Punching Techniques Made Simple," and "Just Because You're Dead Doesn't Mean You Can't Vote - We'll Show You How." I laughed out loud when I saw this, but then it occurred to me: Has anything REALLY been done to fix things in that state before the 2008 election?

OMG.

(sigh)

PANTYHOSE

(sigh)
Science is incredible. You pull a pair of pantyhose out of the packaging and have to put on your glasses to see this tiny bit of nylon you're supposed to be able to pull over your calves, thighs and tummy. There's a reason they're called "Control Top." THEY do the controlling. You just happen to inhabit them but you're at their mercy. You breathe only when you pull the elastic waist away from your body. You go in the direction they command you. Your feet scream all day because the reinforced toe is killing the corns on your little piggies. Girls, you KNOW what I'm talking about here. If you happen to get them on the slightest bit crooked, you walk like a crab all day long. And God forbid you should need to use the restroom in a hurry. Pull them down quickly and it'll take five minutes to get the wrinkles out and pull them up back up. And don't for a moment think you can fix the crooked way you put them on at 6 that morning. They're in that "crab-like" position on your sorry butt for the rest of the day.

Pantyhose falls into that same category with me as seatbelts. The only saving grace is that it's not illegal to go bare-legged! For small favors I'm grateful.

(sigh)

KNOCKERS UP

(sigh)

it's amazing when we're twenty
how our boobs remained a "rack."
no hiding in our armpits
when we laid down on our back.

by thirty we'd been suckled dry
and looking pretty grim
because those babes had pulled them down
and put a hex on them.

by forty we're in to underwires
and push-ups if you please.
and then there were the strapless
if you felt the urge to tease.

by fifty there is NOT a bra
to keep those pups in tow.
we need to have them lifted
by a doc who's in the know.

and then we're free
to let'em loose, enjoy life once again.
toss the bras aside once more
and be a "PERKY" TEN!

(LOL)

WILLIAMS v. SHARPTON

(sigh)

Stand up and take a bow, Juan Williams!

For those of you unfamiliar with National Public Radio's Williams, this is an educated liberal voice from an astute black commentator. I don't necessarily agree with his stand on a variety of issues, but I respect him and his low-key approach to debate and his ability to focus on facts rather than emotion.

Williams has a new book out, Enough: The Phony Leaders, Dead-End Movements and Culture of Failure That are Undermining Black America -- and What We Can Do About It, and it's a gutsy slam on those black leaders like the Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson who he believes are countering academia's effort to legitimize minority concerns. Williams believes Sharpton advocates "victimhood" for blacks in order to get ahead, and this has provoked an interesting debate between the two. Last night Bill O'Reilly's "The Factor" allowed both to adjust their crotches and stand off in an attempt to explain their views. Williams always one-ups his opponents.

Williams discusses Bill Cosby, who we all know has been the object of a great deal of whining by Black America over his truthful estimation of this country's minorities to go the "poor me" route. Williams says Cosby has pronounced that , "... these [black] leaders--cultural and political--misinform, mismanage, and miseducate by refusing to articulate established truths about what it takes to get ahead: strong families, education, and hard work."

What's interesting to me is that Williams is a respected journalist but seems to rank higher among white media types rather than his own. It's unfortunate because he focuses on the issues rather than the causes and could be a major voice for blacks in this country. Again, Williams is way too liberal in his views for my taste, but when he talks, I listen.

(sigh)

ELAINE

(sigh)

The first time I met Elaine was her first day in a new job in my unit. She had arrived at the specified room and time only to realize there was no one there quite that early. When I reported for work that day and went in to sign the register, she was sitting patiently waiting for the Powers That Be to show her to her work space. "Bless her heart," I thought to myself. She has such enthusiasm, which I knew would be tested to the nth degree in this particular unit. That was many years ago, and she has proved her mettle over and over and is respected by all who work with her.

Elaine's another 1/4 of my sisterhood and probably the most "to-the-point" one of all of us. There's no nonsense about this woman. She suffers fools never, has definite and varied opinions, is a strong, strong person. Elaine's the person you want to be with when it's midnight, you're buzzing like a chain saw and are hopelessly lost in a city you've never been in before. NOT THAT THIS HAS EVER HAPPENED, YOU UNDERSTAND......it's just that she'd be the one to take charge and handle things -- and you'd be sooooo grateful for that!

This is the "sister" who repeatedly told it like it was during my separation, subsequent anxiety and eventual divorce. While she listened patiently and commisserated appropriately, she nonetheless had very little tolerance for my whining -- and rightly so. Of course, while her observations were correct, I still believe one cannot fully understand the loss until one has been there oneself. That said, I appreciated her candor and know her intentions were to help direct my focus to reality. She's a smart cookie; a kind, generous person; a great friend.

To you, Elaine.

(sigh)

THE RAMSEY CASE -- AGAIN

(sigh)

Oh, how I hope the individual the Boulder police arrested in Thailand is truly the man who defiled and murdered Jon Benet. I will certainly be surprised if the Ramseys don't know the man, who at one time lived close by to them outside Atlanta.

It's a shame Patsy Ramsey passed away before the arrest was made, but news reports indicate she was informed a month before she died that an arrest was imminent. At least she had that solace. What a coup this will be for the Boulder DA. But what an exhale it will be for the Ramsey family.

Rest in peace, Jon Benet.

(sigh)

HUMMMMM

(sigh)

there's a hum in my head

it speaks to me not.

just carries its tune

like i may have forgot

to bring forth the notes

from inside my mind

in order to hear

some more of their kind.

the melody's loud

obtrusive, in fact

i'm certain i should

just over-reaact

and

SING!

MACACA, MAKAKA

(sigh)

George Allen probably truly meant nothing derogatory the other day by calling that guy in the audience "Macaca."

B U T .................

I don't care if George Allen IS a Republican, he's an idiot. Let none of us be fooled.

(sigh)

THE NOOSE THAT WAS A SEATBELT

(sigh)

I swear, I despise seatbelts. And I further detest laws that mandate I wear one while driving. They cut off the blood flow to my carotid arteries, wrinkle my clothes, make me sweat. I was trying to drive safely today by using an earpiece for my cell phone so I could drive hands-free (ANOTHER SOON-TO-BE MANDATE). In the course of trying to use the earpiece, the wire became tangled in the seatbelt, causing me to nearly run into another car while attempting to dislodge it. I finally pulled over, untangled the wire to the earpiece, unbuckled the seatbelt and seethed.

I'm really tired of outsourcing decisions to "government" that should be personal preferences. I should be able to enjoy a right to either use or not use a seatbelt. If I opt to NOT wear the damned thing, I could perhaps waive my right to sue if I sustain injury due to my not having it buckled. (The insurance industry has lobbied us into this morass.) It just seems as if we're legislated to death any more in this country about everything except immigration issues, and I'm rebelling. I have made many attempts to wear the seatbelt, but it's distracting and uncomfortable and I always revert to noncompliance. I've tried all the clips, etc., on the market for providing more comfort. THEY DO NOT WORK FOR ME!

I'm done. No more seatbelts. Period.

So sue me.

(sigh)

FRUIT

(sigh)

I woke up this morning with kumquats on my mind.

Someone please tell me WHY.

(sigh)

BECKY

(sigh)

Becky's another 1/4 of my "select sisterhood" and one straight arrow, this woman. I've been trying to remember if I've ever seen a drop of alcohol in any form pass her lips and I don't believe I have. This I don't understand. I respect it, but I don't understand it. LOL
I HAVE, however, witnessed her puffing on a cigarillo! LOL again!

Beks is into homeopathy, has a vast knowledge of this, believes in it. She researches alternative palliatives but realizes there are times medical science has to take over. She's down-to-earth, funny, sensitive, caring. There were many times the past couple of years when Beks' ears had to be screaming for a rest from my divorce woes, but she never complained......not once. I knew I could call on her (or any of the sisterhood) and they'd listen and listen and listen. I needed that outlet to vent, and they were always there. Becky told me recently that I was "crazy" during that time, and I probably was. The fact that they're all still my friends speaks volumes of their endurance and commitment. I'm very fortunate.

If I were to articulate one aspect of Becky's personality it would be "dichotomy." She's such a practical, by-the-book individual that it astounds me when she lets loose and does something outrageous or says something risque. But that's what makes her so much fun........you THINK you know what you're getting, and then she throws you a curve -- and it's hilarious. I'm thinking OVERHEATED MONKEYS, Sister! LOL

To you, Beks.

(sigh)

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. -- Mark Twain

LITTLE LEAGUE WORLD SERIES

(sigh)

Take this hint and run with it:

Even if you don't like baseball, tune in to ESPN starting August 18th for the Little League World Series, which runs through the 27th. Prior to then there are televised regional games where you can watch the teams, get to know the kids and decide which teams are hot this year and will most likely be in the championship. It's great fun and the talent of these young boys is absolutely amazing! I watch every year and never cease to be asounded at the level of play and dedication to sport that the kids and coaches have. ABC usually carries the championship game in prime time, testament to the appeal this series has.

What's touching is that these young kids are so talented and hardly ever make an error. But when they do, you'll often see tears of frustration from them -- which reminds us that even though they look like pros out there, they're still kids. Never in these games do you see mean-spiritedness or arrogance, and it's a pleasure to watch kids from competing teams exhibiting friendliness to one another between innings or games. I'm bored frequently watching PROFESSIONAL baseball, but the Little League World Series is always a hoot and full of action. If you haven't seen it yet, tune it. You'll love it!

(sigh)

THE FBI AND I

(sigh)

After working for the FBI for almost 20 years, I retired a while back and heaved a LONG sigh of relief at being out of a 50-mile-one-way commute in insane daily traffic, stress at personnel resources being stretched to the seams and the subsequent stress which resulted, a bureaucracy run amok and an obsolete culture that was (and is) counter-productive to the organization's current mission. It's a shame.

I have great respect for what the FBI was in the past and COULD BE again, but it's frustrating to observe its current misdirection. Instead of the terrorist attacks on 9/11/01 providing impetus for a tighter re-organization, it made the agency (as well as the CIA and NSA) a whirling dervish spewing into crevices it has no right to inhabit. The FBI has always been top-notch in pursuing violations of Federal crime; the CIA has built its reputation on foreign counterintelligence; and we only have a GENERAL idea of the depth of NSA's mission regarding foreign intelligence matters. But even prior to 9/11, the FBI's involvement in domestic intelligence had also branched out to include unrelated narcotics cases (much to the chagrin of the DEA).

The FBI had spread itself too thin even before 9/11. So what happened after that? This is where the Bush administration knee-jerked and formed Homeland Security, which would have been a fairly interesting concept had they been handed over all matters concerning its namesake. But it wasn't organized that way, and each of the agencies which came before them maintained their jurisdiction over many of the same issues -- which resulted in Homeland Security becoming just another layer of bureaucracy to which they have to report and (theoretically) share information. As much as I hate to say this, I believe we are at greater risk today than before 9/11 because the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing -- and there are more fingers on more hands pointing in a myriad of directions.

There's a constant competition within the Federal government for money, equipment, personnel resources, AUTHORITY. The system is broken and no one knows how to fix it. While I have personal knowledge of the talent, dedication, expertise and versatility of the INDIVIDUALS who make up the FBI, I have disdain for the agency's ability to use them appropriately and wisely. It doesn't matter what trivial area of expertise is required in conducting the public business, the FBI has someone who can do it and do it expertly. If there were a need for an Urdu-speaking ambidextrous yoga instructor, you can bet the FBI has one -- or two. The organization is amazing in that respect. But until it's understood that each agency should concentrate on what it does best and relinquish its hold on fraternal agencies' missions, NO agency will function efficiently.

Well, now that I've solved THAT problem, I'll see about cutting my toenails.

(sigh)

"THE FEMALE BRAIN" (by Louann Brizendine, MD)

(sigh)

Wow.

Don't pass over this book review -- this is about a masterwork by psychiatrist Louann Brizendine's gender studies which are absolutely fascinating. There's so much information in this book that amazes -- and gives credence to what women have known all along. This is not a slam against men and their less-than-adequate communication skills but an interesting take on what science has shown to be some of the differences in the sexes in thinking, emoting, relating.

A few highlights are that at conception all brains are female and that at about the eighth week "excess testosterone shrinks the communications center, reduces the hearing cortex and makes the part of the brain that processes sex twice as large." This is extremely interesting biology but not something women didn't already (omg) KNOW!!!!!!!!! We just didn't know when it took place. Ms. Brizendine also states that women use about 20,000 words a day while men use only 7,000 -- something men have most likely known all along as well! (Women won't count the grunts and mumbles men make daily as part of their 7,000.)

And this just blew me away: A gender study observed a young girl in a room surrounded only by male-associated toys. After a few minutes the little girl had taken a fire truck, wrapped it in a blanket and was cuddling and rocking it while saying things like, "Truckie, it's ok....it's all right." Astounding what innate behavior the sexes have at such an early age!

This isn't your usual dry, scientific reporting. The Female Brain is a provocative take on the differences between men and women in their thinking. Every single one of us should read it to broaden our understanding of the opposite sex.

If that's possible.

(sigh)

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Tell the truth --- and run! -- JooJ

BABALOO

(sigh)

Remember "I Love Lucy"? Remember Ricky Ricardo's song "Babaloo" that he sang like a sick cow? As much as I loved that show when I was growing up, even then I didn't understand Desi Arnaz' luck in making that song a "hit." But the show piqued my interest in that island that didn't dissipate when Castro overthrew Batista in '59 and Cuban/US relations went south during the Bay of Pigs debacle. There's something that always seemed magical about Havana and Santiago, and I'd love to visit the island. Granted, the cities have reportedly fallen into disrepair due to lack of funds from Castro's "government" for such, but the Cuban people, their carnivals, foods, music and customs remain intact -- and I'm going to be able to SPEAK SPANISH when they finally open up tourist travel from here to there!

By the way, I promised language progress reports a while back.
Estoy aprendiendo espanol.

(sigh)