SOUTHERN SILLINESS

Along with all the wonderful things associated with growing up in the south, the culture is, at times, a little silly. There are things that just automatically conjure up visions of Spanish moss hanging from the trees; the marshes and bayous; the Outer Banks beaches. And then there are things that conjure up visions of pot-bellied southern sheriffs or hilarious bumbling deputies like Barney Fife of Mayberry.
I've already written about our southern cuisine, but I failed to mention moon pies, Orange Crush or Vienna sausages as an entree. We even like Eyetalian food (LOL), but you know we cook it in our own special way.
Southern men are DEFINED by their pickup trucks and their baseball caps, some of whom pull their pony tails through the hole in the back of the cap. Those trucks have to have woofers and tweeters so you can hear that country music blaring clear to the next county, and the tool boxes in the beds of the trucks are never without duct tape (pronounced "duck" tape south of the Mason-Dixon line). Southern women have a real passion for stretch pants and fuzzy slippers, both of which are worn just about everywhere.
Young boys get their first rifles at age 12 and grow up coon hunting, frog gigging and illegally spotlighting deer. And a boy can't grow up without stealing several ripe watermelons from the neighboring fields and splattering them along county roads. Times don't change. Kids are still doing that stuff today.
We TAWK funny and have a propensity to sing "Amazing Grace" at the drop of a hat. Doesn't matter what the occasion. It's always fitting. Southern folks are stand-patters -- we can be as obstinate as the day is long.
I read somewhere that a southerner's nightmare would be when the NRA merged with the ACLU. That just about sums it up, too.