ADJECTIVES FROM MY LIFE IN 2005

(sigh)
The year 2005 has been
incomprehensible,
sorrowful,
depressing,
ineffectual,
lonely,
hostile,
nasty,
vicious,
unfortunate,
capricious,
inconvenient,
intoxicating (LOL),
invigorating,
delightful,
humorous,
adventurous,
affirming,
vintage,
important,
liberating,
celebratory!
(lol)

SOUTHERN SILLINESS

Along with all the wonderful things associated with growing up in the south, the culture is, at times, a little silly. There are things that just automatically conjure up visions of Spanish moss hanging from the trees; the marshes and bayous; the Outer Banks beaches. And then there are things that conjure up visions of pot-bellied southern sheriffs or hilarious bumbling deputies like Barney Fife of Mayberry.
I've already written about our southern cuisine, but I failed to mention moon pies, Orange Crush or Vienna sausages as an entree. We even like Eyetalian food (LOL), but you know we cook it in our own special way.
Southern men are DEFINED by their pickup trucks and their baseball caps, some of whom pull their pony tails through the hole in the back of the cap. Those trucks have to have woofers and tweeters so you can hear that country music blaring clear to the next county, and the tool boxes in the beds of the trucks are never without duct tape (pronounced "duck" tape south of the Mason-Dixon line). Southern women have a real passion for stretch pants and fuzzy slippers, both of which are worn just about everywhere.
Young boys get their first rifles at age 12 and grow up coon hunting, frog gigging and illegally spotlighting deer. And a boy can't grow up without stealing several ripe watermelons from the neighboring fields and splattering them along county roads. Times don't change. Kids are still doing that stuff today.
We TAWK funny and have a propensity to sing "Amazing Grace" at the drop of a hat. Doesn't matter what the occasion. It's always fitting. Southern folks are stand-patters -- we can be as obstinate as the day is long.
I read somewhere that a southerner's nightmare would be when the NRA merged with the ACLU. That just about sums it up, too.

RICHARD PRYOR

(sigh)
You wouldn't think a WASPy southern belle would have any need for the likes of Richard Pryor, but I'm here to tell you that he made me laugh for years and years. His comedy was irreverent but so on-the-money that you just had to appreciate the not-so-subtle messages that were behind his words. Yeah, he was blue. Yeah, he was in-your-face. But he was also so honest that we sometimes laughed uncomfortably because he stepped on our toes. Even if you were turned off by his vulgarity, he made you talk about him -- which is probably all he wanted. And if he made you THINK, that was even better. Bless your heart, Richard.
(sigh)

TOUCHE, TOOKIE

He killed 4 people in cold blood. He has yet to accept responsibility and express remorse. He is an opportunist who took advantage of the system to gain slight advantages by writing children's books denouncing the Crips gang he founded and the black-on-black crime associated with the Crips and similar gangs. Has he been rehabilitated? Of course not. An eye for an eye. It's unfortunate we can't execute him four times, once for each of his victims.

SOUTHERN HERITAGE

(sigh)

We really DO say "y'all."

Southern heritage runs deep and has nuances that are both tangible and intangible. The intangibles include an intrinsic view of life and an uncomplicated philosophy of God, family and tradition; pride in where we're from and who we are; the community spirit of singing carols standing around the town Christmas tree; shivering in the open-air sunrise service at Easter; knowing the ice cream truck will be circling the neighborhoods for at least eight months of the year; understanding that we'll wave to you whether we know you or not; the headiness of those fragrant gardenias in spring and awe-inspiring beauty of azaleas in full bloom; that when we say, "Bless your heart," we mean it from the bottom of ours. 

The tangibles wrap themselves around those majestic magnolia trees with the luminous leaves and startling white blossoms; Smithfield ham; big front porches with rocking chairs. It's southern towns you miss if you blink -- towns with silly names like Sunbeam, Unity or Wise; or with Indian names like Zuni, Ivor, Rappahannock, Tuscarora; having folks just mosey up at dinner time to sit a spell, drink a glass of sweet tea or a cup of fresh-perked coffee; buttermilk biscuits soaked in honey; mother/daughter dresses (which would be laughed at today -- but I was always proud to be dressed like my mom).

I was in my forties before I realized how important my southern heritage is to me. The south is a place where parents still read to their children at night; where grace is said before meals; where parental respect is a given; where going to church means wearing your "Sunday best;" where "ma'am" and "sir" are said by adults as well as children; where manners are not TAUGHT, but LIVED. The south is a place of substance, a place of belonging, not just to family but to the culture itself.I've lost some of the accent I grew up with by virtue of having lived in various parts of the country over the years, but it's still there to some extent. I hope to always retain it -- it doesn't define who I am, but it gives validity to having been raised in a place where our footsteps tread more softly.
(sigh)

PETA, PETA, PUMPKIN EATER!

(the deepest of sighs here)
It must be a full moon.
PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has one-upped themselves this week. This organization is so far over-the-top that it destroys its own credibility; in fact, it is almost dangerous in its new attempt to provide "comic" book and trading card messages to teens in an attempt to foster kids' thinking along its own skewed lines. The message PETA is now trying to sell is that kids should look at their dads with contempt when he kills a fish by hooking its mouth and allowing it to suffocate out of water. The "comic" book artwork depicts a father ripping the innards out of a fish and warns kids that their fathers may do just the same to the family's pet dog or cat. This is irresponsible caterwauling, and I'm personally sick to death of it. How many of us can actually look at this recent attempt by PETA to cajole us into vegetarianism with anything but disgust? I like animals as much as the next person, but there are some parts of our society that have taken a reasonable cause and made it a joke. In fact, it's not a joke any more. This organization needs a good dose of salts in an effort to cleanse itself of its insane vitriol.
(sigh, sigh again)

THE IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP

(sigh)

I have a friend in Albuquerque whom I have known and loved for 32 years. A friend who understands me and all my shortcomings and loves me anyway. A friend who has helped sustain me through some terribly emotional times, who has listened, sighed, cried, supported me even when I'm sure she didn't agree with my thought processes. A friend who has ALWAYS been there, no matter what was going on in HER life. A friend who has given me her best counsel ALWAYS without preaching EVER. A friend who has the gumption to tell me when she thinks I'm off on a tangent or not using my best judgment. I know I can bounce things off her and she will, if ASKED, give me an honest appraisal. She has seen me at my very worst, my very lowest, my very saddest, and a few times at my very best. I don't see her often because of the miles between us, but we talk regularly and share our lives.

She and her family and my family and I were living in Indiana when we met. Our sons were the same age and were great friends immediately. They explored childhood together doing all the wonderful (and sometimes questionable) things little boys do, played on the same sports teams, went to the same school, fished the same ponds. They spent hundreds of hours with those fishing poles, and it didn't seem to matter whether they actually caught anything or not. They just enjoyed the adventure and the camaraderie.

My family moved to Virginia in 1979, leaving those wonderful friends in Indiana, but we always stayed in touch. The boys visited back and forth from Virginia to Indiana in the summers, never missing a beat in their friendship. One June morning I got a call from this amazing woman who is my friend, telling me that her son (and who I felt was MY son, too!) had been killed the night before in an automobile accident.

THERE ARE NO WORDS HERE.  THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN BE SAID TO DESCRIBE THE ANGUISH ALL OF US FELT, AND CONTINUE TO FEEL EVEN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.

The funeral was the most emotional event I have ever attended. The loss to those parents, sisters, grandparents, friends was indescribable. My son was inconsolable. Seeing his grief at the loss of his friend at such a young age was one of the most difficult things I have endured. I cannot IMAGINE what my friends have suffered in losing a son.

But life goes on. We have survived moves, life-threatening health events to our loved ones, divorce, death of parents, you name it. But through it all, she and I have remained as close as ever, and I value her friendship as much as I do breathing....sometimes more. She is married to a wonderful man, also my friend, and they have sustained one another throughout his open-heart surgery, the loss of that son, years of life-altering events. They have remained steady, reliable, compassionate, wise. The quote in my blog profile by Emily Dickinson, "My friends are my estate," refers first and foremost to these two wonderful people. I love you, Diana and Randy.

(sigh)

HOW TO BE SINGLE, FEMALE AND SURVIVE TRADING CARS

(sigh)
They see us coming, you know.
They know we don't know the difference between torque and throttle (see, I didn't even know what to COMPARE it to!).
They know we don't CARE if there is traction control, sport-tuned suspension, stiffer springs, spoilers, speed-sensitive steering, performance exhaust (what IS that anyway???). However, I honestly DID have one salesman, when I mentioned the less advantageous gas mileage between his car and another I had been looking at, tell me that THE CAR HE WAS SELLING HAD AN (OMG) LARGER GAS TANK THAN THE OTHER SO I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT GAS IN AS OFTEN!!! I'm blond, but not a DUMB blond! Laughing hysterically, I asked him what that had to do with the MPG the car got.........and you know what? I don't think he knew!!!
What we DO care about is whether there is leather interior so when we spill our coffee it wipes right up; dual cup holders for that coffee AND the other space for our cell phones; an automatic trunk release so after we've been shopping we can open it from 20 paces out and can just drop our packages right in; lighted mirrors so we can check our lipstick in the dark; that the car's the right color and that it matches several of our best outfits; climate control so we can keep those hot flashes at bay; that it has a good warranty to reduce our having to discuss torque, etc., with a service technician who thinks 1) that we're all dumb blonds and 2) that his 3-week vacation to the islands will be paid for by this particular repair job; that it has good, reliable tires so that our chances for a flat are reduced while driving up and down I 95 to the malls -- all the important stuff. (Did I mention I'm not a DUMB blond?)
THEY know WE know how much we can afford to pay each month, and they can screw with the numbers any way from Sunday so long as that monthly payment is no more than what we decided coming in. Twelve cups of coffee, a couple of stale donuts and five trips to the restroom later, my eyes have glazed over. Charge us for transferring the tags or not, undercoating or not, freight, processing fees (yeah, right)..............just give me the bottom line and LET ME OUT OF THAT DEALERSHIP IN UNDER 8 HOURS!!! I HAVE SHOPPING TO DO!

CULTURAL COMPETENCE??? GOOD GRIEF!

(sigh)
Have you heard all the recent uproar about the initiative they call "cultural competence" proposed by a handful of liberal-leaning universities? This is nothing more than a fancy name for "sensitivity," which, by the way, was the watchword of the 70s. I never cease to be amazed at the extent to which the political left extends itself toward the soft issues. Not that this particular sidelight is necessarily bad, but the over-reaching is beyond belief. Let me explain.
Cultural competence is defined as "a set of congruent behaviors, attitudes, and policies that come together in a system, agency or among professionals and enables them to work effectively in cross-cultural situations" (Cross et al., 1989; Isaacs & Benjamin, 1991). Bottom line: Know your audience. If you are a Caucasian teacher instructing a classroom of African-American children, it behooves you to be as knowledgeable as possible of their culture and customs so as 1) not to offend and 2) to be effective. But some of the materials on cultural competence which offer "insight" into what works is so far "out there" as to be laughable. Take, for instance, the information put out on the Cultural Competence home page which suggests that even though African-American adults use eye contact and facial expression to discipline their children, this is not effective with ALL African-American youngsters. Duh. It suggests that while this method works with some that one may need to use loud and demanding tones in order to achieve the same result with others. Okay. It's common sense that everything does not work for everyone in every situation, but to imply that Caucasian teachers in a similar situation should be AWARE AND KNOWLEDGEABLE of all intra-group differences is absurd.
This home page is an interesting read because it brings to light how diverse we are in this country with cultures within cultures, ad infinitum. I was overwhelmed when reading it because it's so very obvious that employment of even a fraction of the suggestions put forth is, at the very least, impractical. A couple of the examples given are that in some matrilineal societies the father resides in a different domicile and has little interaction with the children, but the maternal uncle has a large role to play in the children's upbringing. This implies that school faculty members should know NOT to call a child's father but to instead call the child's UNCLE, and a MATERNAL UNCLE, at that! Additionally, some cultures do not recognize TIME as being a factor in everyday living and therefore children have difficulty arriving for classes in a TIMELY fashion. Some cultures rely only on oral communication in learning and are therefore flummoxed by textbooks. Are we to expect our public schools to cater to the kaleidoscope of nuances of each and every culture and sub-culture?
The University of Oregon's mandate of cultural competence by its professors has met with scathing remarks by other educators, the most compelling being those from Rutgers Professor Norman Levitt. Read what he has to say about this:
" 'Cultural Competence,' or rather, your presumed lack thereof, is what you will be clobbered with if you are imprudent enough to challenge or merely to have qualms about 'affirmative action,' 'diversity' and 'multiculturalism,' as those principles are now espoused by their most fervent academic advocates.
...In the context of higher education, cultural competence necessitates abject refusal to articulate or defend ideas that might make certain protected groups uncomfortable. Professors can only be deemed 'culturally competent' if they openly profess the approved corpus of received values."
Professor Levitt continues by saying that administrators at the University of Oregon "prescribed a draconian regime of attitude adjustment aimed at professors and instructors. They proposed that all faculty be required to 'participate in ongoing cultural competence professional development' under their tutelage. But this was just the beginning. The drafters further called for academic departments, across the board, to reconstruct their hiring policies so as to make affirmative action the central factor in generating job offers. They insisted that every course in the school be scrutinized for its consistency with multicultural doctrine. Above all, in hiring, promotion and determination of salary, they called for a formal evaluation of the candidate's cultural competence! Stripping it down to its essence, the message to faculty was this: you're going to adopt our sociopolitical point of view (or pretend to) or pay the price; so far as hiring and retention is concerned, your professional standards shall be modified or overruled to insure the predominance of people of whom we approve because of their race, sex, sexuality or doctrinal purity; if you give us any trouble, lacking tenure you'll be out on your ear and even with tenure you'll be out a lot of money."
So troubling in Oregon's journey into the absurd is the underlying thesis that there should be a forfeiting of our personal value systems in order to cater to these newly-defined cultural essences. This is not a sacrifice for the greater good but a dumping of our own psychologies to accommodate an outre educational hierarchy's quest for cultural correctness. We have become such a litigious society and are so quick to take a whack at our fellow man that we have lost sight of the fact that it is not possible to mandate and legislate every aspect of our cultures. We shouldn't WANT that anyway. To be sure, most of us can use a little diversity honing, but a sensitivity to and an awareness of (rather than a proficiency in) cultural competence should be enough to move us forward. (sigh again)

THE IMPORTANCE OF PRESERVING ROE V. WADE

(sigh)
I don't know why I'm bothering to write about this subject since it is such a controversial issue involving religious, political, medical and personal viewpoints that most likely will never find accordance in my lifetime. I do, however, feel strongly about the survival of Roe v. Wade and hope, in fact, that in the near term there will be further clarification of women's right to choose so as to diminish some of the controversy surrounding
it.
This blog is not the place to debate the religious aspects of abortion, and I'm not going to. While I concede that reverent viewpoints are paramount in many individuals' opinion on the subject, this post is not going to touch on that. Some of the controversy could be put to rest if there could be agreement on one or two points, which I'll discuss shortly. The bumper stickers that exclaim, "It's a child, not a choice," or "Abortion -- the hand that robs the cradle,"offer simplistic offerings of a highly volatile issue. So, too, do the divergent ones which state, "If you can't trust me with a choice, how can you trust me with a child?" or "U.S., out of my uterus!" So, with that in mind, here goes.
The issue of when "human personhood" begins is the root of the abortion debate. If there could be consensus on the definition of this, more clarity could be afforded to legislation and to those amorphous terms surrounding abortion. Pro-lifers generally feel "human personhood" occurs at conception, and pro-choicers generally feel the occurrence is at a much later stage of pregnancy. Therein lies the problem. Even medical doctors and ethicists do not agree here; and that is primarily because their own personal upbringing, viewpoints, and religious teachings have a way of creeping into their thought processes and influencing even the most practical scientific minds. And because of this, Justice Blackmun in 1973 wrote, "...We need to resolve the difficult question of when life begins. When those trained in the respective disciplines of medicine, philosophy, and theology are unable to arrive at any consensus, the judiciary, at this point in the development of man's knowledge, is not in a position to speculate." That was 32 years ago, and we are no closer to consensus today than we were then.
Therefore, since it appears we are still eons away from a LEGAL definition of "human personhood," let's examine a few of the more practical sides of dealing with an unwanted pregnancy. A woman -- whether married or unmarried, young or older, healthy or sick, pious or not -- still faces enormous emotion when learning she is carrying a child. Indifference usually is not a factor here. Pregnancy and child rearing are major events in the life of any woman, fostering intense emotional, financial, and physical demands for many years. For those women whose religion does not allow the employment of birth control or for those who are remiss or just uninformed in the use of contraceptives, an unwanted pregnancy may wreak havoc on that individual's ability to provide appropriate nurturing (at all levels) to the child.
It is somehow unthinkable that legislators' opinions, which have been formulated by their own upbringing and environment, should be rendered law to an individual who is not capable emotionally, physically and/or financially to provide for a child. To force parenthood on someone unable or unwilling to adequately deal with raising a child, who may even eventually neglect or abuse that child, seems more a crime than the termination of the pregnancy. Yes, I know the argument....There is always adoption. But the reality of it is that less than 2% of individuals faced with unwanted pregnancy actually place the child up for adoption, and "those who relinquish tend to have higher education and income levels, higher future career and educational aspirations" (National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, 2005). This suggests that those women least likely to have the means financially to obtain adequate pre-natal and post-natal care and to provide essential provisions for that child are the ones who are opting to ignore the adoption option. My daughter is adopted, and I am grateful for her biological mother's decision to give birth and allow me to have had another child to love and care for. But there are some who don't have the insight and a view of the bigger picture to propel them toward making that decision. While they may personally not be able or willing to provide for the child, they may be equally unwilling to allow it to be placed for adoption.
Our learned family values, perceptions, personal circumstances all mirror to some extent our views on issues of substance. Abortion is no exception. We may be able to understand another side to an issue, but our final judgment will be reflective of our own life experiences. That's what makes the right-to-choose issue so controversial and so very, very personal. We can apply principles to some degree from other times, but we cannot always measure their impact on today's issues. Times change. People change. And, unfortunately, core values are often eroded. Things that were so very important when I was a child are no longer viewed as necessary. There really isn't such a thing as "polite society" any longer...we rage on the road; we curse at our neighbor; we want it all at the expense of our children, who are rude, loud and out of control. Do we want more of this? I don't think so. We need to examine carefully our roles as parents and our ability to raise children of character, children who have integrity and who are possessed with self esteem. To do that and to be successful at it, we need to WANT to be parents.
Should we be concerned about the fate of Roe v. Wade? Should we be pro-active in defending women's right to choose? A resounding YES to both.

****************************

After I wrote the above piece, I emailed it to a friend whose opinion I respect completely. I asked him to comment on it.............and comment, he did. I knew what his views were on this subject going in, and I knew I would receive a literate, thought-provoking rebuttal. His arguments are so compelling that I had to include them for balance. And while he has not changed my mind about the importance of preserving Roe v. Wade, I believe the scales tip in his favor here. Used with his permission.

*******************************

I think you have made a good case that some women want abortions or are comforted by the thought that abortion is available. Both facts are undeniably true. However, just because something is wanted does not mean that it is right or that it is "a" right, enshrined in the Constitution. Muslims want to kill infidels, children want to subsist on candy. However,I will put aside the debate on whether abortion is right or not and focus instead on whether there is a right to abortion in the Constitution. Of course, there is not. The "right" was found in the emanations and penumbra of the 14th and 4th amendments. How wonderfully expansive, unless you try to make that argument with the second amendment, but I digress. There is no "right" to abortion, the Supreme Court arrogated to themselves the power to force all States to permit the practice. If Roe is overturned, it does not mean women can never have abortions. Abortion will be regulated, like any other medical procedure, by the states. Would that mean abortion would suddenly be declared illegal by every state in the union with women and doctors locked up everywhere? No. Prior to Roe, many states had already moved to permit abortions, many others have since written the right to privacy into their own constitutions. Of course, some states might severely restrict or even eliminate the practice. In a representative democracy, that is the right of the people and their representatives. If the prospect of Utah or Kentucky restricting abortion completely, or of Texas restricting access to abortions to women over 18 or girls under 18 with parental consent frightens women, they have several recourses. Someone can propose a constitutional amendment EXPLICITLY permitting abortion at all times for females of any age. Others can elect legislators who will pass expansive abortion legislation. Put the issue directly in front of the voters. Let the people decide. If your arguments are good, people will be convinced, and abortion will be as available as you desire. There are some good pro-abortion arguments. Abortions are disproportionately performed on women of lower economic stature, so there are fewer children on the welfare rolls, and fewer teenagers committing crime in the future. Essentially, you can pre-emptively exterminate societal problems. Abortions are also performed in higher numbers among politically liberal individuals and in more politically liberal states. Anything that eliminates liberals gives proportionally more power to conservatives and to conservative states and is by definition a good thing. This is known as the"Roe effect" on political balance. Women are a majority in this country. You represent upwards of 75% of college graduates and 60% of law school. Surely, collectively, you can come up with some compelling arguments beyond the feeble justifications of Blackmun in his Roe decision for abortion which convince a majority of your fellow citizens to permit abortion legislatively. If you think this task impossible, then by all means, hold to Roe and do your best to beg 5 justices to continue imposing policy on a resentful public. That is certainly a recipe for good relations across the political aisle.

SOUTHERN TRADITIONS (FOOD)

(sigh)

Many thousands of words have been written over the years about southern food and the traditions which surround it. Thought I'd add my two cents' worth.

There are some foods so identified with the south (and even specific AREAS of the south, such as Smithfield ham, Brunswick stew, Jambalaya) that to include them in a general cookbook would be unthinkable. That's why there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of small, spiral-bound local cookbooks sold every year. These diminutive collections of southern dishes usually contain Aunt Ethel's coconut cream pie recipe, the ingredients and measurements for Cousin Tate's beaten biscuits, many versions of Hoppin' John and at least ten recipes for the "best" fried green tomatoes. Flip to the back of these jewels and you'll most likely find a small section with tried-and-true tips for canning, cleaning "chitlins" (soak in Clorox!) and removing Grapette stains from your fancy white tablecloth. Two of the best here: 1) The next time the milk goes sour, do not throw it out. Use it to whiten laces. 2) (and my favorite) To remove gum from hair, rub a plain chocolate bar in hair -- then wash.

Southerners have elevated the simplest of foods to the "hors d'oeuvres" category. Take, for example, the fact that we think adding chopped olives to sardine slices constitutes a hoity-toity appetizer; or dipping shrimp in French dressing is the classiest ever pre-dinner morsel. How about liverwurst with pistachio nuts? Cheese cubes with an olive attached by a toothpick (anything with a toothpick is ELEGANT). Cream cheese with chopped pickle? Caviar flavored with onion juice?
Almost every book is dedicated to that area's most renowned cook, who may or may not have passed away. Regardless, there will be many of that culinary legend's famous recipes interspersed throughout every single section. You'd be wise to place a checkmark by those recipes -- after all, the queen of the cooks didn't get that recognition from baking brownies from a box.

Now, in the south we will feed you to death. You will never leave our homes hungry or thirsty -- ever. If you're around for breakfast, you'll certainly be offered grits, maybe some cracklins, some hoe cakes, fried country ham with red eye gravy, possibly some pigs' brains and eggs with a side of biscuits and saw mill gravy as well. You'll be tempted at lunch with butterbeans, fried green tomatoes, a bowl of Brunswick stew, smothered pork chops or chicken fried steak, corn bread seasoned with bacon drippings (FRIED, NOT BAKED!), southern tea cakes, pecan pie and coconut cake. All, of course, washed down with pitchers of sweet iced tea. Stay for supper and you'll have to rock fast in that front porch chair to work off that mound of fried catfish or fried chicken, collard greens, cornfield peas, huge casseroles of macaroni and cheese, and baskets of steaming hush puppies. And won't you have just a teeny sliver of each of the desserts? A touch of blackberry cobbler, your choice of lemon or chocolate chess pie and maybe a smallish slice of our classic Lane cake. And lest you've forgotten, more pitchers of sweet iced tea.

For some reason the south enjoys love affairs with everything regarding hogs and chickens. We'll cook and eat anything from the hog. Real southern cooks know their way around pork chops, pork tenderloin, pork barbecue, pork brains, pork spareribs, pigs' feet, pigs' knuckles, pork stew, pork roast, pork spaghetti, pork chili, pork rinds (regular and low-carb - hahaha), country ham and the fabled "mountain oysters."
We love chicken, too, and have a plethora of dishes made from it: fried chicken, chicken and dumplings, chicken pot pie, chicken soup, chicken and rice, chicken and noodles, bullfrog chicken, chicken casserole, chicken salad, chicken
sandwiches. We fry it, smother it, bake it, stew it, boil it, broil it, barbecue it, blacken it.

Every southern kitchen worth mentioning has a container of bacon grease sitting on the stove for "seasoning," or just plain frying something up. Always there are crocks of salt for brining stuff, bowls of unshelled peanuts, pantries with fruit cakes steeped in bourbon. At Christmas we'll seduce you with our peanut pies, gorgeous Red Velvet cakes, homemade fudge, cinnamon pecans, crispy cheese straws, pineapple upside-down cake.

If you're fortunate enough to know a southern cook, do whatever you have to in order to arrive in time for fixins. You'll enjoy hospitality at its finest, a wonderful repast and most certainly a stuffed doggie bag to take along with you. MMMMMMMMM

IS DIANNE FEINSTEIN AS DUMB AS SHE SEEMS?

(sigh) Lemme ask you all something...is this just ME or is this perhaps one of the most ridiculous comments you've ever heard a Senator make?
When Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-California) recently learned of Harriet Miers' 1989 backing of a constitutional amendment to ban abortion, Feinstein's quoted remark was, "This raises very serious concerns about her ability to fairly apply the law without bias in this regard. It will be my intention to question her very carefully about these issues."
Duh???????????????
What does this all OMG MEAN????? Had Miers' 1989 view been to NOT SUPPORT a constitutional amendment to ban abortion, would Feinstein STILL have serious concerns about her ability to apply the law without bias? Certainly not. Geez.
Additionally, Feinstein's statement was superfluous......"fairly" MEANS without bias. What a nincompoop.

LIGHTNING BUGS AND THE MAYONNAISE JAR

(sigh)
The sweet smell of honeysuckle wafts through the dense, humid air getting stronger the closer I come to the patch of it. Hundreds of lightning bugs flit around close by making tiny blinking pulses in the night, and I am entranced. Cupping my hand I am able to capture two at a time -- slow-moving, they are -- and turning my palm, flip them downward into the freshly-washed mayonnaise jar. Just minutes before I had taken the ice pick from the kitchen drawer and poked several holes in the lid in order to allow air to seep in but being careful not to make the holes large enough for them to escape. 

Running barefooted through the night, I'm able to catch a dozen or so of them in my hands and transfer them to the jar. I remember my hands having a "pencil lead" scent from the fireflies; and if I close my eyes and concentrate, I can almost recall that scent to this day.

Treasure in a jar, I skip back to the house and ask for a double-stick banana popsicle, which I take out to the steps and sit and lick while having my nose an inch from the side of that flickering glass container. I hear dishes clattering inside as the women clean up from supper and talk about church the next day. Off in the distance the men are sitting on the porch smoking their unfiltered Camels and hashing over the problems at the local paper mill.

Can't consume that popsicle fast enough to keep it from melting and dripping down between my toes, but no matter. I'll watch the lightning bugs until the popsicle is gone, and then I'll lift the lid and watch them fly away.  Don't see many lightning bugs any more, and that's a shame. But every time I DO see a few, it reminds me of a simpler time and the essence of my southern childhood.

D * I * V * O * R * C * E

(deep, deep sigh)

D ecree (n., an authoritative order)

I nsidious (adj.,working or spreading harmfully in a stealthy way;

designed to entrap)

V iscera (n., the internal organs of the body)
O ubliette (n., a dungeon with a trap door)
R educe (v., to lessen in amount; diminish)
C urettage (n., a surgical scraping of a bodily cavity)

E nd (v., to ruin; destroy)

MORE SOUTH POLE PICTURES

Top: The aurora australis over the South Pole Station
Center and bottom: Imax Crevasse

MORE PICTURES FROM THE ICE

THE MIDDLE EAST AND THE AMERICAN PEOPLE

(sigh) As promised the blog reader(s) who commented on my Cindy Sheehan post (See 10/5/2005's The Cindy Sheehan Mess and Comment section), I'm going to opine on why U. S. success in the Middle East is important to the needs of the American people.
Up front let me state the obvious: there are economic, political and social problems abounding in the Middle East, and I certainly have no greater knowledge in these areas than any of you. I CAN, however, THINK and REASON with the best of you, so what you'll get here in this post is the result of those thought processes, flawed though they may be.
It troubles me truly that we have become a nation of whiners...and it's from both Republicans and Democrats. It matters not what any sitting administration proposes...the opposing party will hand-wring and gripe regardless of the merits of the issue. That's one of the reasons most people are so turned off by politics. We absolutely refuse to give credence to the opposition whether we tacitly agree or not.
Now this hand-wringing has been never so apparent as it is over the war in Iraq, but this particular post is not about defending the administration's decision to take on Saddam. It IS, however, about the importance of our succeeding there, as well as in the GLOBAL, not just Middle Eastern, take-down of al Qaeda, Hamas, Hezzbolah, et al. John McCain made an interesting statement several years ago about how Iraq had to be important to us because it is important to our enemies. At its most basic, we MUST succeed there because the consequences are so dire to the overall world view of the United States. While we do not need the approbation of the rest of the world, it is most certainly in our interests to own it.
And unfortunately, whether we like it or not, we absolutely must secure our oil interests in the Persian Gulf region and ensure that they don't fall under the control of the likes of say, Iran, or a pre-war Iraq. The leverage that those countries would have over all of the world's oil importers would be devastating to our economy and our ability to conduct business without interruption. Sad to say, oil rules. We cannot allow a scenario of that sort to wreak havoc on inflation rates and our overall economic growth and survival. Additionally, can you imagine how our national security would be jeopardized if states like Iran, pre-war Iraq, Syria, etc., controlled the oil wealth in the Persian Gulf? That wealth would allow their access to god-knows-what nuclear and other catastrophic weaponry, all of which would certainly be aimed at us. More importantly, any success the U. S. achieves in helping to stabilize the Middle East and in demolishing the terrorist groups trickles down to all phases of our economy by way of reduced oil prices, reduced defense spending, improved import/export ratios of durable goods, improved trade relations with the rest of the world...all of which translates to a better quality of life for the poor, the needy, the elderly, the rich, the famous in America. An exhaling over national security also translates to reduced defense spending which, in turn, allows for more tax dollars to be freed up for those programs of such concern to the blog commenter: education, housing, medical care for the poor and needy. And this is just the economic piece of it -- there are intangibles as well, not the least of which is knowledge that we would be safer in the world. Therefore, the bottom line answer to the question of how success in the Middle East is important to the needs of the American people is that ANY success our country has in that part of the world will be felt by every single one of us at some level economically as well as in our personal security.
And lastly, I didn't want to get into this, and there really is no need to comment about this particular statement I'm going to make because I shall address the issue down the line in another opinion post and you may state your concerns at that time. But in regard to a comment made by the blog reader in the Sheehan article concerning the fact that not everyone is well-to-do, I need to ask if the "little guy" isn't biting the hand that feeds him. All the social programs advocated by the Dems and Republicans alike have to be paid for by someone. We need to be sure that those more affluent have the incentive to continue to strive for financial success in order for their tax dollars to fill the coffers that support these programs.
Republican philosophy is simple in and of itself, and that is to allow individuals to govern and take care of themselves if they can; and if they cannot due to a true and defined need, federal help will be available. The GOP wants less federal government (states' rights), fewer handouts (get a job), more accountability for those requesting assistance (welfare reform, which Clinton advocated as well). They most certainly advocate helping those in real need, but they also advocate that the American people return to a more substantial work ethic rather than the lazy, unmotivated, gimme-types we have become.
Kevin Hasson has an excellent book, The Right to Be Wrong, which is primarily about religious diversity; but the book's appellation is applicable to any issue. Blog commenter, I believe you are wrong. You believe I am wrong. Who's right?

MAGNOLIAS AND SWEET TEA

(sigh)

When I was growing up in southeastern Virginia -- "nine miles from Carolina" they used to say -- my grandmother would make the most beautiful wreaths and table arrangements from magnolia leaves and blooms. Those huge dark green leaves with the creamy white blossoms sitting atop a white lace cloth for Sunday dinner was the ultimate southern table. The beauty was in the simplicity of it. Add a couple of pitchers of sweet iced tea (which, of course, you sweeten when the tea is still hot so that all the sugar dissolves) and you have the beginnings of a southern sit-down that would always include fried chicken, creamed potatoes, butterbeans, corn, deviled eggs, homemade rolls or biscuits (there wasn't any such thing as biscuits in a can!), coconut cake and a couple of berry pies. FIXINS, as it were.

CAN YOU FRY A GRIT???

A NAWTHUN friend told me recently that what is wrong with southern food is that we will FRY anything...........even a GRIT! Now, I take offense at this for a coupla' reasons: 1) we, in the south, know that "grit" is only singular if it refers to that stuff under your fingernails after you've been feelin' around the seams of your sofa for loose change; and 2) you could only fry it up if you let it get cold, smushed it up into a little cake and dipped it in egg batter and flour. THEN, maybe you could fry it! (Hmmmmm......).

THE CINDY SHEEHAN MESS

(Sigh) Sooooooo sick I am of the Cindy Sheehan mess....the debate goes on and on and on and on, ad infinitum. WHY does the liberal media give such coverage to this non-story anyway? Well, you know why and so do I....because it advances its liberal leanings on the war and attempts to promote anti-administration sentiment. My opinion on this, even though you didn't ask, is that we should ignore her and her "followers" totally. It was, after all, her SON who gave the ultimate sacrifice, and her antics subsequent to his death are almost a slap in his face. She should be ashamed, and so should we for even entertaining her rhetoric.

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD

For those of you not familiar with To Kill A Mockingbird, the wonderful movie which gives justice to Harper Lee's 1960 novel, I recommend you check it out sooner rather than later. Every October I pull out my old VHS copy of the movie, pop some corn and settle in to watch one of my favorite stories unfold. This is the ultimate southern movie -- it captures the very essence of the south in setting, vernacular, character portrayals. Gregory Peck nails the laid-back but oh-so-wise Atticus Finch, and the other characters just fall into place behind him.
The film was actually shot in the deep south, and you can almost taste the dust from the sweltering heat and then cool off a bit as fall approaches in the story. There are a couple of interesting asides about this film: the character Dill was supposedly based on the late Truman Capote, Harper Lee's cousin; and Robert Duvall began his film career here as the elusive Boo Radley.
Growing up in a small, backwater town in southeastern Virginia, I knew prototypes of the characters in this story. It's like going home to watch it. Buy the book to read and keep; buy the film to pull out to view every fall as I do.

GOING FORWARD

This blog, southernsighs1, represents five years when I was trying to make sense of life-changing events.  My attitude on some subjects has "evolved," but I'm mostly the same person I was back then.  Just calmer.

The on-line blog (southernsighs1.blogspot.com) has over 300 entries, but this book contains just 10% of them.  Some may make you chuckle, some may irritate you, some may make you think.  But hopefully you'll recognize me as your mom, your g'mom, your partner or your friend in a few of them.
5/28/2018